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totes retar 

The most vacuous, stone-brained way to say "totally retarded" - totes retar the word is in fact, totes retar.
Annoying White Chick 1: Oh gawd Sheila, the way Amanda wore pink and green together to prom was totes retar.
Annoying White Chick 2: Totally, gross, totes retar.
totes retar by Crunching on Gravel October 29, 2017

SM water tastes like water

A Crackhead basically saying water tastes like water
W: it tastes like water

W and Y: SM water tastes like water

Sleep Tastes Pretty

When two guys fall asleep in a 69.
After a lil Sleep Tastes Pretty, he has some explaining to do to his girlfriend.

Totes Malotes

Totally bad ass!

The phrase is a combination of totes, which is a truncated way of saying "totally" and malote, which is Chicano slang for "bad ass." It was popularized and possibly originated from the animated science fiction show “Rick and Morty”, created by Justin Roiland and Dan Harmon for Adult Swim. It's used by Rick Sanchez in Episode 4 of the first season, M. Night Shaym-Aliens!
Rick and Morty steal processor chips from the intergalactic scammers called the Zigerions and make a getaway in one of their escape pods.....

Rick Sanchez: Totes Malotes Dawg!
Totes Malotes by Doctor Felony August 9, 2016

Breasties before Testes 

When you put your girl friends before your boyfriend; An alternative to woes before bros.
Jim:"So, Carol, are you going out to dinner with the guys and me tonight?
Carol:"No, sorry Jim"
Jim:"I thought that you said earlier that you could go"
Carol:"Brittany and I are watching Netflix tonight, breasties before testes!
Totally bro.
The more awesome version of "Cool Story Bro"

Use it. It's a thing now.
"Hey dude did you see the size of those tampons?"
"Totes bro. They look like they could fit up a walrus."

"Totes bro"
"Stop saying that! Do you know how annoying it is?"
"Totes bro."
Totes Bro by Totesbro January 20, 2012