tortegrity

The structural integrity of a tortilla in a burrito. This is dependent on the rate of absorption of the delicious burrito juices. As the tortegrity degrades there is an increased danger of all the precious burrito-stuffs spilling out. Complete failure of tortegrity can result in sadness, injury, or death.

STEVE: "Houston its not looking good up here, at this rate of decay we will have imminent tortegrity failure in a matter of minutes! I don't think we can save the rest of this burrito."

HOUSTON: "You have no choice, power through!! We cannot simply abandon our investment!"

STEVE:"I'll try sir." (OM NOM NOM NOM NOM)

HOUSTON: "Steve do you read me? What's your situation up there?"

STEVE:(OM NOM NOM) "We have complete tortegrity failure....Oh sweet purple velvet Jesus, IT'S EVERYWHERE!!"

HOUSTON:"Steve!... Steve!... Answer me goddamnit!"

STEVE: (Akkkaghhrhrggrggg)

HOUSTON:"Steve!... Come in!... Steve... NO! We've lost him!

....

"Damn...Why do we keep sending them to Chipotle?"

by The Inverted Euphemism November 19, 2011