turdegrity
turdegrity by Poer Ppl July 13, 2022
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tortegrity
The structural integrity of a tortilla in a burrito. This is dependent on the rate of absorption of the delicious burrito juices. As the tortegrity degrades there is an increased danger of all the precious burrito-stuffs spilling out. Complete failure of tortegrity can result in sadness, injury, or death.
STEVE: "Houston its not looking good up here, at this rate of decay we will have imminent tortegrity failure in a matter of minutes! I don't think we can save the rest of this burrito."
HOUSTON: "You have no choice, power through!! We cannot simply abandon our investment!"
STEVE:"I'll try sir." (OM NOM NOM NOM NOM)
HOUSTON: "Steve do you read me? What's your situation up there?"
STEVE:(OM NOM NOM) "We have complete tortegrity failure....Oh sweet purple velvet Jesus, IT'S EVERYWHERE!!"
HOUSTON:"Steve!... Steve!... Answer me goddamnit!"
STEVE: (Akkkaghhrhrggrggg)
HOUSTON:"Steve!... Come in!... Steve... NO! We've lost him!
....
"Damn...Why do we keep sending them to Chipotle?"
HOUSTON: "You have no choice, power through!! We cannot simply abandon our investment!"
STEVE:"I'll try sir." (OM NOM NOM NOM NOM)
HOUSTON: "Steve do you read me? What's your situation up there?"
STEVE:(OM NOM NOM) "We have complete tortegrity failure....Oh sweet purple velvet Jesus, IT'S EVERYWHERE!!"
HOUSTON:"Steve!... Steve!... Answer me goddamnit!"
STEVE: (Akkkaghhrhrggrggg)
HOUSTON:"Steve!... Come in!... Steve... NO! We've lost him!
....
"Damn...Why do we keep sending them to Chipotle?"
tortegrity by The Inverted Euphemism November 19, 2011
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