smabbing
One of the many options for the MALE version of “vabbing,” which entails rubbing the mushroom-head of the glans penis until enough smegma and other organic/genetic material is collected for use as aftershave, eau de cologne, and lip balm. Designed to attract females (and so inclined males) of the species due to the musk and pheromone content.
However, it is almost guaranteed to repel all humans.
Must be collected — and applied, starting with the lips and working your way down the body, hitting the pulse points first — in a crowded public place (such as a symphony concert) for it to qualify as smabbing. Otherwise, it doesn’t count — and you might get arrested or castigated from polite society.
However, it is almost guaranteed to repel all humans.
Must be collected — and applied, starting with the lips and working your way down the body, hitting the pulse points first — in a crowded public place (such as a symphony concert) for it to qualify as smabbing. Otherwise, it doesn’t count — and you might get arrested or castigated from polite society.
Artemis: “Hey. HEY! Isn’t that Carthage McFartface, the famous Canadian bassoon soloist, spreading his cock’n’balls odor all over hisself? Is that jibbing, or is that smabbing? I vabbed at home. Why can’t that pervert do that behind closed doors?”
Dobrosław: “Arti, you don’t know jack about smab etiquette. It is time you learned the truth about this smabbing. Wow. I can smell that shit from the balcony.”
Carthage McFartface: “I heard that.” <<continues the slow, purposeful, circular rubbing of his alert, sizzling mushroom *onstage* from his seat in the orchestra right before his big solo in ‘Boléro’>>
Dobrosław: “Arti, you don’t know jack about smab etiquette. It is time you learned the truth about this smabbing. Wow. I can smell that shit from the balcony.”
Carthage McFartface: “I heard that.” <<continues the slow, purposeful, circular rubbing of his alert, sizzling mushroom *onstage* from his seat in the orchestra right before his big solo in ‘Boléro’>>
smabbing by Robaürt Du Maÿnnne July 3, 2026
