think 'slashed tires' - hence the origin of the word. slashed is the opposite of wheelz; it means having no wheelz or being overall awkward with girls (or guys!)
The word was discovered by the American alcohol specialist Evan Nelson, who, upon consumption of massive amounts of hard liquor, accidentally combined the words sloshed and smashed to describe himself.
Usually slashed would be used to describe someone who can no long make intelligent verbal comments.
While our lifespan is the number of years we will live, our healthspan is the number of healthy years we will have and our sexspan is is the number of years we will continue to be healthy enough to continue having an active sex life.
A lighthearted reaction upon receiving disappointing news of some sort. Usually something that isn't a particularly a big deal, esp. when it primarily affects someone else - sort of a mild schadenfreude. Sometimes doubled or tripled, and possibly said in a sing-songy voice for added comedic effect to imitate a muted trumpet, which is how the meme originated.