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shaftbury

When people come along and fuck up a situation that should be a good thing.
to shaftbury; Living in a house for free with good people that show respect to there surroundings followed by more people coming along and showing complete disrespect to the building and fucking up the final outcome of the state of the house.
To be shaftburied.
by aquwa March 31, 2009
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shartburn

a rare and tragic combination of gastrointestinal malfunctions resulting in an embarrasing release of gasseos effluvia and inadvertantly, solid shite (a shart), which, due to the recent consumption of spicy food, simultaneously leads to a distressingly painful case of hotring. A lethal and humiliating combination.
"Dude, gotta go, I just sharted.... Holy fuck, it's shartburn!!!"
by Chiefnutz October 17, 2005
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Shaftesbury School

Once ruled and founded by Witchfinder General Lord Boof in 1609; Shasten school is situated on an isolated hilltop (known to locals as Shasten). Much like Azkaban, Shasten School is a high security institution for the most enchantingly gifted pupils from the godforsaken province of North Dorsetshire. Every year the institution sends several students to the poverty stricken nation of Rwanda where they can take advantage of the dire misfortune of others in order to gain something sycophantically cringeworthy to put on their personal statements and CV's alike. Shaftesbury school students can be differentiated from Sturminster Newton and Gillingham students by a distinct lack of webbed feet.

Notable alumni include; Paddington Bear, Tony Bear, and much loved Shakesperian villain Iago.
PUPIL 1: Is it your first day here?
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PUPIL 2: Yes?
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PUPIL 1: Boarder or local?
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PUPIL 2: Local.
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PUPIL 1: Well Frightfully sorry sir, it makes no difference - welcome to the mad house!

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ANONYMOUS STUDENT: What school do you go to?
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SHASTEN PUPIL: Shaftesbury School.
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ANONYMOUS STUDENT: Could be much worse, could be Gillingham!

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SHASTEN LOCAL 1: Those Shasten school students are a most peculiar bunch.
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SHASTEN LOCAL 2: Yes... Quite!
by K_D2111 February 10, 2012
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shartburn

what happens after a shart
loud gurgling greasy fart

Dude, that one's gonna burn. You'd better cleanup quick, or you're gonna get a bad case of shartburn!

tosses him a pack of baby wipes
by Alpino December 15, 2008
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Shaftesbury

A hilltop town in Dorset. Home to an abbey, Gold Hill, Tesco, and Shaftesbury School, and not much else except woods, fields, cows, rather nice country people and retired war veterans.

The people of Shaftesbury can take pride whilst gazing from their hill at the neighbouring towns such as Gillingham and Sturminster Newton. By doing this they are reminded of their superiority from the fact that they don't live in an imbred squalour dominated by chavs.

Recently however, the chav, have been advancing on the hill of Shaftesbury. The recent influx is thought to be from Gillingham of which the vermin seek the nearest Tesco Supermarket.

Precautionary measures have not yet been taken by the town council - also known as the 'Chimpanzee Committee' due to the large presence of Chimpanzees imported illegally from Gillingham School on the board of councilors.
'Shaftesbury is the city of a dream' - Thomas Hardy
by elk_jjhf March 29, 2012
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Shaftesbury school

Absolute fucking aids. Ruled by mr farrer and mr I hillier and all the other cunts. Trust me you do not wanna go to that shithole of a school. It consists of wetties,smokers, and in general neeks. Poor smokers aren’t allowed up “smokers alley” anymore because some old lady keeps complaining about “fag buts”. Probably even shitter then gillingham school. If u go there u will get put on shitty report for no reason at all. But let’s get an F in the chat for all the smokers at the school.
by Donnyyyyyy October 16, 2019
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Shartburn

a form of shart felt as a burning sensation in the ass, caused by acid secretion into the anus.
Oh man; I had the worst shartburn today.
by the_johnsmith May 29, 2011
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