self monkey 

To produce a Self Monkey first take the shavings from your shaver in one hand

Manually spank the monkey and shoot your load so it lands on your chin

Slap the shavings on your chin, thus producing soft and downy designer stubble

See Monkey Face

I had such a good wank last night I shot my jizz so far it landed on my chin, I went over to the sink to clean it off but all the trimmings from my shaver spilled out and I ended up with a self monkey to be proud of

self monkey by Tim Bolton November 10, 2007

self-monkey 

The act of rolling a 1-1-2 during a tiebreaker gooch roll. The result being the requirement to wear a tin foil hat while paying and carrying the breakfast order.

Ali lost the tie breaker with a 1-1-2 roll on dice resulting in the dreaded but rare self-monkey. On the way to get breakfast he refused to wear the tin foil hat and subsequently he has banned from playing in the orginal Powerex Gooch Roll and is now forced to play in a substandard game on a lower floor.

self-monkey by Gooch Rider April 24, 2011

monkey self 

When you or someone else acts ridiculous, usually by accident. "Monkey self" meaning yourself, and "monkey ass" meaning someone else.

"BRO my monkey self fell asleep yesterday when I was supposed to meet you guys at the park."

"His monkey ass really just failed to do a backflip during the dance battle, and then let out the loudest fart ever heard by humanity the very second he hit the ground."

monkey self by VomitOnMySkirt November 23, 2022