Originally the "scotch couch" wherein one drank scotch on a certain couch. then in drunken mumblings became scoutch. then decided to make it a drink. Pour 2 parts baileys irish creme into a glass. then float one part scotch on top. irish creme is used because the original couch was white. therefore floating scotch on the couch for drinking
A clapped-out white van driven by miserable little security guards. These vehicles are filthy and frequently break down. The fat driver will often try to save a parking place for himself by putting a traffic cone in the road outside his house. This annoying practice is best dealt with by rescuing the cone from the fat guy's possession and installing it in the back of a Maltby lorry two streets away.
A small white moustache sported by bald security guards to prove they can grow hair. If the security guard is particularly old, fat and ugly he'll believe his moustache makes him good looking and suave.