Lumpbag's definitions

Its called Snickers now, Lovey!

The flaming homosexual's response when someone says "I feel like I've run a marathon".

Exhausted person: I feel like I've run a marathon.

Shirtlifter: Its called Snickers now, Lovey!

by Lumpbag May 7, 2009

King of West Bridgford

Title adopted by a little fat twat who considers himself the most important person in his home town. The rotund monarch waddles slowly around wearing homosexual sandals, shorts and shades. His Queen is a repulsive dragon with teeth like surfboards. She doesn't understand a word you say because the massive weight of the teeth causes stress in the brain. The royal couple are universally despised and are frequently the victims of monkeyish pranks.

Flobule: Dad, what time are we going to Asda?

Dad: Don't know. I'll have to ask the King of West Bridgford. You need his permission to do things.

Flobule: That's right. We must respect our leader.

by Lumpbag May 29, 2009

Mr Interesting

Ironic name for a tedious individual who believes himself to be the most interesting thing around. Mr Interestings tend to be fat security guards with ugly girlfriends. They drone on and on about the most inconsequential things and expect their audience to be rivetted.

Oh shit, here comes Mr Interesting.

And his repulsive girlfriend.

Let's run before they collar us. Once that boring bastard starts talking we can kiss goodbye to the whole fucking week.

by lumpbag May 16, 2009

Jafargholi

A Welsh Paki whose awful singing makes normal people vomit blood.

Flon: Dad, why did you just vomit blood?

Dad: Aaarghhhh! <points at television screen>

Flon: Shit, its Jafargholi! <vomits blood>

by Lumpbag May 26, 2009

Pork Scotch Van

A clapped-out white van driven by miserable little security guards. These vehicles are filthy and frequently break down. The fat driver will often try to save a parking place for himself by putting a traffic cone in the road outside his house. This annoying practice is best dealt with by rescuing the cone from the fat guy's possession and installing it in the back of a Maltby lorry two streets away.

What do you call a toilet on wheels?

A Pork Scotch van.

by Lumpbag May 10, 2009

Pork Scotch pizza

The world's finest pizza topping. The pizza of choice of fat security guards it consists of a Marguerita pizza topped with pork and gravy.

Why is that security guard so fucking fat?

You'd be fat if you ate 3 Pork Scotch pizzas every day.

by Lumpbag May 4, 2009

Fishy MacSwell

A little fat security guard with a gay moustache. Drives a shitty white van and likes to go out with wrinkly drag queens. Probably the most boring man on Earth, definitely the ugliest.

Who's the repulsive fat guy with Goofy Granny?

That be Fishy MacSwell, the most boring bastard on God's Earth.

by Lumpbag May 16, 2009