Goofy Granny

A wrinkly old witch with enormous gnashers. This foul specimen is so physically repugnant that only a porky, boring security guard will have anything to do with it. Goofy and Porky walk around wearing shades, thinking they're young and trendy whereas really they're a pair of tedious pensioners addicted to garlic bread.
Is there anyone in the world ugly enough to go out with the Porky Scotcher?

Yep. Goofy Granny. She's one ugly bitch.

Excellent choice, sir. The two ugliest, most tedious individuals on Earth.
by Lumpbag May 29, 2009
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Pork Scotch pizza

The world's finest pizza topping. The pizza of choice of fat security guards it consists of a Marguerita pizza topped with pork and gravy.
Why is that security guard so fucking fat?

You'd be fat if you ate 3 Pork Scotch pizzas every day.
by Lumpbag May 04, 2009
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Goofy Granny Wagon

The worst type of Granny Wagon in the world. A shitty little red toilet on wheels driven by a hideous old gargoyle with teeth like green surfboards.
Sweet Jesus! A gargoyle driving a toilet!

Oh shit, its the Goofy Granny Wagon. Piss off you foul dentist dodger!
by Lumpbag August 16, 2009
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The flaming homosexual's response when someone says "I feel like I've run a marathon".
Exhausted person: I feel like I've run a marathon.

Shirtlifter: Its called Snickers now, Lovey!
by Lumpbag May 07, 2009
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Hill biscuits

The vilest, sickliest and cheapest contents of a Snufbag. Officially classed as food but should never be consumed by humans. Ethiopians have been known to turn their noses up at these foul creations, choosing starvation instead.
Mickus: What's in this week's Snufbag?

Mum: A bag of crisps and 18 packets of Hill biscuits.

Mickus: OK, throw me the crisps and shove the shit down the bog where it belongs.
by Lumpbag April 26, 2009
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Mr Interesting

Ironic name for a tedious individual who believes himself to be the most interesting thing around. Mr Interestings tend to be fat security guards with ugly girlfriends. They drone on and on about the most inconsequential things and expect their audience to be rivetted.
Oh shit, here comes Mr Interesting.

And his repulsive girlfriend.

Let's run before they collar us. Once that boring bastard starts talking we can kiss goodbye to the whole fucking week.
by lumpbag May 16, 2009
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Poor Theo

A miserable, ugly Greek bloke who works as a bouncer at a gay bar and constantly feels sorry for himself. He walks around the house saying "Oh dear!" over and over.
Poor Theo sounds really upset. What's wrong? Has his best friend died?

No, he's feeling suicidal because he overcooked his fried eggs.

Poor Theo!
by Lumpbag April 29, 2009
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