A barbecue arranged by a boring old twat. No one turns up except his ugly girlfriend. They eat garlic bread at a plastic table, then proceed to drink gin and tonic until they're almost comatose. At which point the boring fat twat plays crap music very loud and dances like a spack. No Pork Scotch Barbecue is complete without the tedious "host" donning a leather cowboy hat, imagining he's a 5 foot 4 Clint Eastwood.
Flonkule: Is The Porky Scotcher at work today?
Mickus: No its not and the Sun's out so you know what that means don't you?
Flonkule: Bollocks! Another Pork Scotch Barbecue!
Mickus: No its not and the Sun's out so you know what that means don't you?
Flonkule: Bollocks! Another Pork Scotch Barbecue!
by Lumpbag May 24, 2009
Get the Pork Scotch Barbecue mug.The worst type of Granny Wagon in the world. A shitty little red toilet on wheels driven by a hideous old gargoyle with teeth like green surfboards.
Sweet Jesus! A gargoyle driving a toilet!
Oh shit, its the Goofy Granny Wagon. Piss off you foul dentist dodger!
Oh shit, its the Goofy Granny Wagon. Piss off you foul dentist dodger!
by Lumpbag August 16, 2009
Get the Goofy Granny Wagon mug.Flon: Dad, why did you just vomit blood?
Dad: Aaarghhhh! <points at television screen>
Flon: Shit, its Jafargholi! <vomits blood>
Dad: Aaarghhhh! <points at television screen>
Flon: Shit, its Jafargholi! <vomits blood>
by Lumpbag May 26, 2009
Get the Jafargholi mug.The vilest, sickliest and cheapest contents of a Snufbag. Officially classed as food but should never be consumed by humans. Ethiopians have been known to turn their noses up at these foul creations, choosing starvation instead.
Mickus: What's in this week's Snufbag?
Mum: A bag of crisps and 18 packets of Hill biscuits.
Mickus: OK, throw me the crisps and shove the shit down the bog where it belongs.
Mum: A bag of crisps and 18 packets of Hill biscuits.
Mickus: OK, throw me the crisps and shove the shit down the bog where it belongs.
by Lumpbag April 26, 2009
Get the Hill biscuits mug.A clapped-out white van driven by miserable little security guards. These vehicles are filthy and frequently break down. The fat driver will often try to save a parking place for himself by putting a traffic cone in the road outside his house. This annoying practice is best dealt with by rescuing the cone from the fat guy's possession and installing it in the back of a Maltby lorry two streets away.
by Lumpbag May 10, 2009
Get the Pork Scotch Van mug.by Lumpbag May 07, 2009
Get the Its called Snickers now, Lovey! mug.Title adopted by a little fat twat who considers himself the most important person in his home town. The rotund monarch waddles slowly around wearing homosexual sandals, shorts and shades. His Queen is a repulsive dragon with teeth like surfboards. She doesn't understand a word you say because the massive weight of the teeth causes stress in the brain. The royal couple are universally despised and are frequently the victims of monkeyish pranks.
Flobule: Dad, what time are we going to Asda?
Dad: Don't know. I'll have to ask the King of West Bridgford. You need his permission to do things.
Flobule: That's right. We must respect our leader.
Dad: Don't know. I'll have to ask the King of West Bridgford. You need his permission to do things.
Flobule: That's right. We must respect our leader.
by Lumpbag May 29, 2009
Get the King of West Bridgford mug.