A polite way describe a person, place or thing that is all fucked up.
Well when he crashed the ambulance into that pole he sure schmuckered it up.
by TheZippo November 9, 2019
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When a girl is giving head to an uncircumcised cock and she gets a mouthful of schmeg from under the foreskin causing her to pucker up and cringe. But the trooper that she is, completes the job to one glorious nut.
I guess I should of cleaned my foreskin last night before Rachel sucked me off. She got schmuckered.
by Eaton Holgoode March 22, 2017
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When one recruits a dog and a human to have a sexual escapade with them.

Process:
1. Acquire some Smuckers Jelly (Concord Grape is preferable)
2. Paste it all over your hand
3. Rear the hand back all the way in order for the Slap to be most effective
4. Slap it on the ass real good and rub it in
5. Leave the Jelly on for 10 seconds before having your dog lick it up
6. Enjoy.
Man I want to get a schmuckers slap right now.
I just got schmucked.
We are schmucking right now.
by AnonymousPseudonym10 October 9, 2018
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Enchanterist, mysterious un obtainable gift from the Gods. Whom may only be posesed by one man. That man Katfish Billy is the most hated envied man on the planet. Use caution when approaching you will be mesmerized and lost in the glow of her spell ,left helpless and unable to escape her charm.
That girl I just met is a Carol Schmucker, I'm powerless in her presence and tortured without it.i can never escape it.
by Leftpowerlessby her May 29, 2018
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Stuck up white kids who have sex in the bathroom and who moan in the classroom and who don’t care about anything beside smoking and sports
Student 1: what school do you go to

Student 2: i go to Schmucker middle school

student 1: oh so your a stuck up white kid
by Hidden in plain sight September 9, 2021
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Someone who takes credit for another's success in reference to hunting and fishing.

Synonyms: Cunt, out of stater
If you shot a deer in someone else's stand or area, you are a schmucker.
by Vermontsgay October 22, 2017
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Da brain-activity-reducing/altering (i.e., eating it causes you to be a "goober") striped nut/fruit spread dat Harrison Ford had in his mid-afternoon snack-sandwich, and which subsequently caused him to accidentally land his Aviat Husky in a manner contrary to the tower's instructions ("I’m the schmuck that landed on the taxiway").
One should not have any potentially-dangerous, exacting, and/or expensive activities planned for several hours after ingesting any sizable amount of Schmucker's Goober Jelly, so as to hopefully avoid any cranial-confusion-related mishaps caused by consuming said tasty-but-thought-fogging comestible --- just look what it did to famed actor-turned-pilot Harrison Ford (i.e., he both overflew another aircraft at a dangerously low altitude AND touched down on the wrong tarmac-strip), and HE was an experienced pilot, to boot!
by QuacksO April 8, 2020
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