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proctological legerdemain 

The art of magically pulling a project quickly out of your ass.
You: "The boss just went to lunch. He told me to create a new website so he can present it to the client when he gets back."

Coworker: "Guess you'll have to practice a little proctological legerdemain."

proctological discomfort

With her constant moaning, Thelma was fast becoming a proctological discomfort.

three finger proctological exam 

Anything or anyone that's a HUGE pain in the ass.

To suck and blow simultaneously.
This weekend my boss is making redo this month's TPS report. What a huge three finger protological exam that's going to be!

Having Jerry around is like having a constant three finger proctological exam!

Proctologically 

Thinking or acting in a way that would give off the impression that your head is shoved firmly up your ass.
John proctologically swerved into my lane because he was on his cell phone and not paying attention to the road.
Proctologically by AlbinoRhino September 12, 2008

Proctocologicalization

The process by which on 01/12/11 the lllinois politicians did a rearrangement of all the citizens of the former great state of Illinois rear entrance and orifices with the great tax hike long live the great depression two
Proctocologicalization via Obamacare

Proctocologicolization via the stimulus package which also paid $117 million to studythe affects of the sex change pill on rats Behaviour

proctologically resourced 

He proctologically resourced all of what he said.