A tool
box with matching power douche accessories is the most egregious form of
tool. If a
tool is a common douche-
bag, and a tool
box is where tons of tools go, then a tool
box with matching power douche accessories is the apex predator of douches.
This person would be the megalodon of douche, the Elvis of douchebaggery, or the Mount Everest of douche. In the SCUBA diving world this person would be the Andrea Doria of douche. In rock climbing, this person would be the 5.15a of douche. In cycling, this person would be the Tour De Douche, except that he would have both testicles. In Kalifornia, this person would be the Nancy Pelosi of douche. In the hand gun world, this person would be the Desert Eagle of douche...a douche that is completely unlike other douches to an almost comical, unnecessary degree.
HISTORY OF THE PHRASE:
Cliffy, a Sergeant in my unit in 3rd Infantry Division, referred to our commander (he who shall not be named) as a tool
box with matching power douche accessories one time. We all instantly recognized the gravity of the phrase. Like the Tarrasque in Dungeons and Dragons, there can typically only be one tool
box with matching power douche accessories in the world at any given point. According to
legend, the tool
box with matching power douche accessories may take on an apprentice tool
box, and upon his death the apprentice
will then gain the douche prowess of the then deceased tool
box with matching power douche accessories.
