phonecuffing 

When somebody calls you when you're about to start something, in the middle of something, or just want to be left alone. The caller just won't let you go and just keeps on talking and talking and talking and talking and talking. The caller might talk about subjects that you don't know anything about and/or have absolutely no interest in, and just when it seems like he or she is about to let you go, he or she jumps on to a whole new subject. You can be stuck in this situation for hours.

phone rings

VICTIM: Hello?
PHONECUFFER: Hey, there's this one really weird question on the physics homework
VICTIM: Okay, let's see…

10 minutes later

PHONECUFFER: Yeah, thanks man.
VICTIM: No problem.
PHONECUFFER: By the way, did you hear about that idiot?
VICTIM: Oh yeah!

16 minutes later

PHONECUFFER: But then I realized that 5 Hour Energy is better than Vault.
VICTIM: That's cool, but I've got this paper that's due in 72 hours.
PHONECUFFER: I see.

27 minutes later

PHONECUFFER: And so I dug it up on YouTube last night and I thought it was mediocre.
VICTIM: Yeah…
PHONECUFFER: I mean people think he's an idiot…
VICTIM: Un-huh…
PHONECUFFER: But really he can be hilarious, like when…
VICTIM: (thinks "I have a paper to work on and he's talking about the crappiest move that was ever made.")

38 minutes later

PHONECUFFER: But then I realized that if you stand eight feet away, you get the most accuracy.
VICTIM: That's cool, but I really need to work on that paper.

22 minutes later

PHONECUFFER: So he just stared off into space and was like "Whoa!".
VICTIM: (monotone) That's weird. (thinks "I've told him about the paper six times and he's still phonecuffing me!")

phonecuffing by Daedalus Suburbanus June 1, 2010