I heard you tried to punch someone when you were rat arsed Saturday night, missed and fell over and cut your head. Ha ha ha
You can talk, what about the time you got a hiding and ended up in A&E with stitches left, right and centre. Ruining christmas for everyone... Ha ha ha
when you're holding up your phone and making faces at it, as though you are taking a selfie, but you're really taking a picture of the person across from you or the wall or anything else that seems interesting but you don't want to be caught dead taking a picture of.
This action is often made more convincing by wiggling the eyebrows or opening the mouth, to pretend you're trying to get a Snapchat filter to work.
FRIEND A: "Did you just take a stealthie of me?"
FRIEND B (turning phone around): "no I was just using snapchat's new filter, see?"