Marmaduke: 'You are cordially invited to attend an evening of Bach, cribbage, and orgiastic festivity, on the 14th day of May. Arrive at 4:45 in the post meridian, and carriages for no later than dawn.'

Fitzwilliam: 'No doubt another one of your choir, cards and chains evenings?'

Marmaduke: 'Yes, the usual merrymating.'

I've been jabbed