Kiersten : Oh Jake why don't you caress my boobs!
Jake : Do you really want me to stick my hands in your shirt right here at work?
Kiersten : YES!
Jake : Ok!!!
Kiersten : Oh Jake! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!
Kiersten : Now Suck Them!!!
Jake : MMMMMM!
Chad : Wow Jake watching you suck Kiersten's beautiful breast makes me wanna Masturbate!
Kiersten : Uh Jake you need to stop there's a perve watching us!
Jake : Do you really want me to stick my hands in your shirt right here at work?
Kiersten : YES!
Jake : Ok!!!
Kiersten : Oh Jake! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!
Kiersten : Now Suck Them!!!
Jake : MMMMMM!
Chad : Wow Jake watching you suck Kiersten's beautiful breast makes me wanna Masturbate!
Kiersten : Uh Jake you need to stop there's a perve watching us!
by SlopNChop June 29, 2017
The act of touching oneself to produce a favorable feeling in the groin area. Usually accompanied by some sort of mental, visual, or audio stimulation to assist in reaching climax.
jerking off; spit-shining the old water pump; waxing the brass candlestick; beating off; playing cards with only one hand on the table; riding the quarter-horse; joining the mile-high club, solo-aviator division; giving in to the hand police; self-actualization; fully realizing your potential
jerking off; spit-shining the old water pump; waxing the brass candlestick; beating off; playing cards with only one hand on the table; riding the quarter-horse; joining the mile-high club, solo-aviator division; giving in to the hand police; self-actualization; fully realizing your potential
No honey, I don't want to tonight, I'm tired from watching Oprah. Why don't you just go masturbate?
That dumb broad got me all worked up and left me; so I had to spit-shine the old water pump manually if ya know what I mean.
Sometimes, when I wake up, I have an erection, so I have to beat off until it goes away. Sometimes, it comes back so I beat off again until it goes away. Once, it kept coming back so I just chopped it off. It hurt bad.
That dumb broad got me all worked up and left me; so I had to spit-shine the old water pump manually if ya know what I mean.
Sometimes, when I wake up, I have an erection, so I have to beat off until it goes away. Sometimes, it comes back so I beat off again until it goes away. Once, it kept coming back so I just chopped it off. It hurt bad.
by jeffro February 25, 2003
Man 1: You masturbate that much. It's not even that great
Man 2: Don't hate the bate, it's sex with someone I love
Man 2: Don't hate the bate, it's sex with someone I love
by That man with the thing March 31, 2010
All the slang words for masturbation: bashing the candle, Bleeding the weasel, bleedin the weed, buffing the banana, bopping the baloney, burping the worm, choking the chicken, cleaning your rifle, corking the bat, cranking the shank, cuffing the carrot, fisting your mister, flogging your dog, floggin the frog, flogging the hog, flogging the log, flute solo, jerkin'the gherkin, looping the mule, manual override, painting the pickle, pocket pinball, pocket pool, polishing the banister, polishing the rocket, pounding your flounder, pumping the python, roping the pony, spanking the monkey, teasing the weasel, tossing the turkey, walking the dog, whipping the willy, wonking your cronker, yanking the crank.
by The clit commander April 10, 2003
If hitler was into masturbation instead of murder all the millions of deaths would not upset the world.
by Michael............... March 24, 2006
To have sex with yourself when you are horny.
For males, stroking your erect penis with your hand. If not with your hand, then rubbing your penis on something else like a pillow can be done for a lesser effect. A climax will result in a wave of pleasure and ejaculation of semen, also referred to as cum
For females, the act of rubbing your pussy - often your clitoris at the top - with your fingers. This can include pushing one or more of your fingers into your vagina. If not with your hand, then most phallic shaped objects can be used to penetrate. Vibrating objects can also achieve an equal effect. A climax will result in a very large wave of pleasure.
Masturbation is done by just about everyone and it has been for millennia. You shouldn’t feel guilty by masturbating; it’s a completely natural process that relieves stress. In fact, it’s likely you searched this for the sole purpose to masturbate, so here’s a story:
Dinner had gone by, and Gabriel was just lying in bed, still tired from school. He decided to let his mind wander: The beauty of space, Izabelle the cute female of his friend group, what wonderful literature he could write, the endearing looks of Izabelle, how she wore a really short skirt once that revealed almost everything.
Gabriel was infatuated by that girl. He removed his pants as he imagined lewd thoughts, like putting a baby in Izabelle on her own bed, whatever it may look like. He couldn’t confess his feelings now, all he could do is masturbate.
For males, stroking your erect penis with your hand. If not with your hand, then rubbing your penis on something else like a pillow can be done for a lesser effect. A climax will result in a wave of pleasure and ejaculation of semen, also referred to as cum
For females, the act of rubbing your pussy - often your clitoris at the top - with your fingers. This can include pushing one or more of your fingers into your vagina. If not with your hand, then most phallic shaped objects can be used to penetrate. Vibrating objects can also achieve an equal effect. A climax will result in a very large wave of pleasure.
Masturbation is done by just about everyone and it has been for millennia. You shouldn’t feel guilty by masturbating; it’s a completely natural process that relieves stress. In fact, it’s likely you searched this for the sole purpose to masturbate, so here’s a story:
Dinner had gone by, and Gabriel was just lying in bed, still tired from school. He decided to let his mind wander: The beauty of space, Izabelle the cute female of his friend group, what wonderful literature he could write, the endearing looks of Izabelle, how she wore a really short skirt once that revealed almost everything.
Gabriel was infatuated by that girl. He removed his pants as he imagined lewd thoughts, like putting a baby in Izabelle on her own bed, whatever it may look like. He couldn’t confess his feelings now, all he could do is masturbate.
Gabriel opened the drawer in his night stand which contained lube and tissues, all kept hidden from his parents. He pulled down his boxers letting his modest cock out. He opened the bottle and applied lube to his anxious cock and began stroking. Each rub had a resounding *shlick* so he tossed a blanket over him to muffle the lewd sounds.
Gabriel focused on the lovely stimulation as he imagined more perverted fantasies of Izabelle. He couldn’t help but moan with each breath as his penis was feeling more appreciated. It was like Gabriel was in a dream masturbating in bed thinking of his love, but everything was real. Gabriel felt so good yet he yearned for more. He got up on his knees and began thrusting his hips into his curled hand, still imagining Izabelle’s virgin holes. The stimulations on his thrusting penis was rising and he could feel that warmth flow through his body.
Gabriel knew what would happen next.
He thrusted while stroking his cock as fast he could, and moaned in pure ecstasy. He could feel that absolute pleasure spreading up the shaft to the tip. Gabriel let out an orgasmic groan as a stream of cum shot onto the bedsheets from his happy penis. He continued to slowly stroke as more spurts of cum were let out.
Once the pleasure ceased, Gabriel hung sighed in perfect relief. There were streaks of semen on his blankets, but he let it be, instead deciding to go right to sleep in the dirty nude.
I hope this made u want to masturbate, and ur welcum if u were!
Gabriel focused on the lovely stimulation as he imagined more perverted fantasies of Izabelle. He couldn’t help but moan with each breath as his penis was feeling more appreciated. It was like Gabriel was in a dream masturbating in bed thinking of his love, but everything was real. Gabriel felt so good yet he yearned for more. He got up on his knees and began thrusting his hips into his curled hand, still imagining Izabelle’s virgin holes. The stimulations on his thrusting penis was rising and he could feel that warmth flow through his body.
Gabriel knew what would happen next.
He thrusted while stroking his cock as fast he could, and moaned in pure ecstasy. He could feel that absolute pleasure spreading up the shaft to the tip. Gabriel let out an orgasmic groan as a stream of cum shot onto the bedsheets from his happy penis. He continued to slowly stroke as more spurts of cum were let out.
Once the pleasure ceased, Gabriel hung sighed in perfect relief. There were streaks of semen on his blankets, but he let it be, instead deciding to go right to sleep in the dirty nude.
I hope this made u want to masturbate, and ur welcum if u were!
by The_Jamijach June 21, 2020
Bob was horny, and being the Urban Dictionary-holic that he is, he looked up masturbate and every other word with the slightest sexual connotation on Urban Dictionary. He died of starvation.
by wittyname January 17, 2010