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Masturbate

The act that you will perform after reading this page of definitions.
Bob was horny, and being the Urban Dictionary-holic that he is, he looked up masturbate and every other word with the slightest sexual connotation on Urban Dictionary. He died of starvation.
by wittyname January 16, 2010
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fucking

Mixing "fucking" into any phrase is like mixing alcohol with sleeping pills. It makes the effects way fucking stronger.
Kid 1: My fucking rat died
Kid 2: OMG!#@$%&!! Im so fucking sorry!
Kid 3: Good thing. This world needs less fucking rats
Kid 4: Jeeze Lou-eezz, Kid 3, can't you have some fucking compassion?
Kid 3: no
by wittyname January 16, 2010
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role model

as a small child: the firefighter that came to your school and showed you the fire truck
as a middle schooler: the shitty celebrity or artist that your classmates talk about on a daily basis
as a high schooler: your older sibling who gets plastered daily in college and refuses to acknowledge social norms
Teacher: Okay, class, who is your role model? *big fake smile*
MiddleSchoolKid 1: Your Mom.
MiddleSchoolKid 2: Your Mom jokes aren't funny anymore. that was so 2007. *flicks back hair in bitchiest possible way*
MiddleSchoolKid 1: *wipes tear off cheak* okay, my role model is Lindsey Lohan
MiddleSchoolKid 2: coke whore
by wittyname January 16, 2010
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clean

the state you are in when you are being drug tested
stoner 1: hey man do you wanna smoke these dank ass buds with me?
stoner 2: man, i wish i could, but im clean. my parents drug test me.
by wittyname January 16, 2010
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paranoid

your state of mind when you hear the door bell ring and you suspect the police are outside but it's a girl scout trying to sell some fucking girl scout cookies
*Door Bell Ring*
Paranoid Person: Oh shit. I can hear the cops outside. *flushes eighth of weed down the toilet* *opens door*
Girl Scout: You wanna buy some Girl Scout cookies?
Paranoid Person: FML
by wittyname January 16, 2010
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Alcohol

Bryan drank a bottle of Sailor Jerry's (Rum which contains alcohol in case you are a dumb motherfucker) and was motherfucking confident and comfortable with his own personality (the opposite of his usual self).
by wittyname January 19, 2010
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depressed

when you are stuck in a negative state of mind. you lose all motivation for school and having a social life is extremely difficult because when you are depressed you are boring to be around and your negative vibes are not wanted (at least thats how it feels to a depressed person). you feel like if your life was a youtube video, the majority of the comments on it would say "Fail"

you have to force smiles to prevent people from commenting about how fucking miserable and sad you look, and at the lunch table someone usually will comment: "Wow has anyone ever seen _________(fill in name of depressed person) laugh?"

you cant just decide to be happy and look on the positive side of things, you are stuck in this state of mind as long as you are in the same situation but it is very possible to get out of it in life changing events (like going to college, leaving a shitty small private school)
kid 1: hey look at that kid in the back of the room, he never smiles, i wonder what he's thinking about
kid 2:i think he's emo or something. hes so conceited i think he hates everyone
kid in the back: im not emo im depressed and i am the opposite of conceited
by wittyname January 16, 2010
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