loo scannon
A small heavy apparatus on wheels with a short iron projectile-hurling barrel that you pack with black powder and a sandbag, and place just inside the door of an outhouse; you rig the device's primer-cap to both the door and the seat of the crapper. That way, if some "loose cannon" --- either because he's a pervert or simply too drunk to notice da "occupied" sign --- tries to enter da loo while someone else is already in there, he'll get blasted clear across the yard for his impudence.
The only problem with a loo scannon is that ordinarily you can only have one shot at the loo-intruder at a time,, so if the sozzled/lecherous idiot actually recovers from the massive torso-whack he received "the first time around" and staggers back toward the outhouse before you're through takin' yer dump, you will no longer have your "protection device" activated to give him another whallop. That's what bathroom-buddies are for --- always take another person and some fresh ammo-supplies with you when you head for the potty, so that your friend can hurriedly reload the scannon in preparation for another blast if necessary. P.S. Some clueless dudes are so big and tough that they actually **enjoy** being a "human cannonball", so watch out for "repeat offenders" here... they may actually WANT you to do it again "on their behalf".
loo scannon by QuacksO August 1, 2018
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