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Wangston R. Longshanks III 

The best ever name for your johnson. Ever. Period.
She wanted to see Wangston R. Longshanks III, so I unzipped and whipped him out right there.

Longshanks

Nickname for King Edward I 1272-1307(note England only)
Or as he preferred to be called 'The Hammer of the Scots'.Persecuted The Jewsand forced them to wear a yellow star to identify themselves(sounds familiar?]He ordered the execution of Hundreds of Jews and finally ordered to have them expelled(over 600 years before hitler)

Conquered Wales in 1284, Then turned his attention to Scotland interfering in royal matters that had nothing to do with him. Helped appoint a Puppet King ,John Balliol in Scotland ,A Yes man ,he could control, in his efforts to conquer the Northern Kingdom.
He installed English garrisons in Scottish Castles and Forced The Scottish King to Swear Loyalty to him .A Brutal man who crushed any one who dared oppose him,after stealing the Scots ancient Coronation stone The Stone Of Destinyand had it placed under his own Throne in Westminster, he thought he had conquered his Northern Neighbour,Of Course he was Wrong!

Enter William Wallace Who totally Fucked up Longshanks Plans north of the Border,of course he was later betrayed and delivered to Edward and executed in 1305. Longshanks thought at last he had subdued the Scots when up sprang Robert The Bruce.The Bruce was Crowned King of Scots In open Defiance in 1307. The same year Longshanks died on the Scottish Border whilst en-route to ''crush''his opposer.He was Buried in Westminster Abbey in a lead Casket only to be transferred to a Regal Gold casket only when Scotland was Truly conquered and part of the Kingdom of England .Succeded by his son Edward II,Later to be thoroughly defeated by the Scots in 1314 at the battle of Bannockburn.
Longshanks is still buried in a LEAD casket!
LOSER!
Longshanks by The Equaliser June 1, 2006

Edward Longshanks

Edward I (17 June 1239 – 7 July 1307), popularly known as Longshanks, thanks to Mel Gibson's "Braveheart". Longshanks achieved historical fame as the whitest brit to conquer the shit out of parts of Wales and almost succeeded in fucking everyone over in Scotland. But when that prick finally kicked the bucket his queer son Edward II took the throne and just took it right in the ass and failed to do anything to those lovable Scots. Longshanks reigned for a long ass time because he was an evil bastard and everyone knows those fucks live forever.
Edward Longshanks probably wanted to bang that French princess that his son didn't like because she didn't have a penis.

Even though you're the prince of darkness you're still no Longshanks.
to use linushan have to squeeze him
linushan by easykoosu April 30, 2019

longshanks

Colloquial term for a man with rancid chat that makes you want to finish your cigarette quickly and get back to work. Invariably will also have an annoying laugh, bad teeth and will reuse the same clothing daily and so smells of frozen eddies.
Longshanks: "I am tall, when you talk about tall people they must be taller than me."

Me: "Oh my god, I need to get out of here."

Longshanks: "I believe NHL is the best sport ever, no other sport must be discussed in my presence."

Me: "Does anybody have a noose handy?"

Longshanks: "I had the best time at Uni, because me and my mates were all tall."

Me: "You are the saddest fuck I have ever met...."

longshanks by windy miller May 16, 2006

LongShanks

A Bisexual retard dating the trap Yoda(WC) he used to be a normal /pol/ historian that went full weeb and gay one day, no one knows what disease attacked him but by God theres no cure. Name is based of cool English monarch. Very protective of his bitch Yoda.
Someone: *Says something insulting about Yoda*

LongShanks: *Goes on a long rant about why they're wrong and why hes not gay for dating yoda*
LongShanks by NotSoNormalGuy December 3, 2019
More from Urban Dictionary

Back when I lived in upstate new york 

A meaningless, unimpressive, self-serving introduction. An indicator that the story about to be shared will be pointless and dumb.
Back when I lived in upstate new york, I also had to park on the street - on two occasions, we got enough snow, mixed with just the right plowing, that my car was lifted off the ground from so much snow being jammed underneath it.
Word of the Day on August 31, 2026
Acronym, meaning Too Long Didn't Understand
Similar to TLDR
Sister: This meeting was to discuss the rough draft of my essay, where we discussed the subsidiary questions I added in my rough draft. We also discussed the relationship between my main title and the real-life situations I chose to use in my essay. We discussed the structure of my essay as well, specifically the Math AOK section and how it relates to the contradiction of the title. This second meeting was particularly helpful in discussing the implications of my essay claims and how to apply the title across various areas of knowledge. There were many sections of the essay that could have been cut down in wordiness and the ways of knowing required further and more in-depth analysis.

Me: Woah! TLDU!
TLDU by L-Evans January 14, 2019
Word of the Day on August 30, 2026
the act of having anonymous sexual encounters with other men in public toilets.
Cottaging by greeef April 24, 2003
Word of the Day on August 29, 2026

Salad Days 

green inexperienced youthful judgement and cold blooded execution of those judgements.

Rashness with little concern of consequence.

Antony and Cleopatra. William Shakespeare

"My salad days,
When I was green in judgment, cold in blood."

- William Shakespeare, Antony and Cleopatra, 1.5
"How did you end up in jail?"

"Salad days, 'nuf said."
Salad Days by GilbyRFC0 October 7, 2011
Word of the Day on August 28, 2026

age gate 

An absolutely foolproof way to keep minors from viewing content deemed "too mature" for them to watch.
Billy: "So I was trying to watch some videos for an M rated game, and I ran into an age gate, so I put in my real birthday. SOMEHOW it managed to figure out that I am 12. CURSE YOU AGE GATE!!!"

Bill: "Fucking age gate! *quick scroll* THERE! I was born on January 1, 1904. Fuck you age gate."
age gate by Banja January 7, 2011
Word of the Day on August 27, 2026

board chow 

A)
The Crud that collects under the keys in a keyboard. Usually more severe in the keyboards of programmers and webmasters as they tend to spend a lot of time at the the computer and thus eat at their desk. Mainly affecting IBM Model M (clicly) style boards.

B)
Can also be used to gross out Non-Techie people
A)
Bill: want to go to the club?
Bob: No, I've got to clean out my board chow, keys are starting to stick.

B)
Bill: Want to go out to get a bite?
Bob: No, i am just going to have some of my board chow/
Bill: Whats' that?
Bob: The food scraps that collect in my keyboard; Want some?
Bill: *GAG* *HURL* *GAG*
board chow by BinaryHackerMan September 3, 2007
Word of the Day on August 26, 2026
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