When a man loves a woman/man/half-woman-half-man/lamp, and they're in a committed relationship built upon trust and a mutual confusion of Asian culture, and he wants to express his love for her/him/shim/lamp, he has doggy-style sex with her, and then pulls out and ejaculates all over her/his/heris/lamp's back and sticks an object to it such as a paper plate, a muffin, or a small foreign kid.
Howdy friend, I just Sticky Johnned a ping-pong paddle to your mother last night.
When you fail at something in life (eg. failing an exam or not getting a job), go home and spend an hour just standing in the shower, propping yourself up against the wall with your eyes on your feet.
Caleb knew the only thing to do after he didnt get prefect was take a failure shower.