jesus loves you

When someone that shares the same faith as you but has absolutely no intention of helping you nor wants to get invloved with your personal problems. Also is a typical expression used by overly churched individuals who are incapable of giving a real heart to heart advice.
Isaac: Dude whats wrong
Josh: Man my dog just got run over by a semi truck
Isaac: Im sorry man but umm hey! Jesus loves you!
Josh: uh? thanks?
by jordannnnharts September 24, 2010
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Jesus loves you

Common word in beggers language.
Best used with phrase "God bleess you" with or without "...and have a nice day!"
JC!OMG!
"Spare a coin?"
-"Go away!"
"Jesus loves you!"
by Helter Skelter January 05, 2005
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Jesus Loves You

God is on your side
by Christian Warrior September 01, 2020
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Jesus loves you

A term used by people that are intending to steal from a store.
Hey, how are you?

Good thanks, Jesus loves you!

Ok

*Steals from store*
by buzzmonke October 17, 2022
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I know Jesus loves YOU!

Someone making a statement acknowledging your ability to walk away from an over-the-top ridiculously dangerous situation unscathed (or with only minor injuries). Leading a charmed life.
Exiting a car accident where you were not wearing a seatbelt and you have only minor cuts; while another passenger who was wearing a seatbelt is being rushed to the hosptial to become an organ donor. A bystander says to you: I know Jesus loves YOU!
by Mychelle C. August 17, 2005
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Jesus Loves You

A statement which you respond to by saying "IN THE ASS"! You can also initiate the conversation yourself by telling someone that Jesus loves them. After hesitating a bit, you can add the additional "IN THE ASS" part to the end of your statement.
by ANOTHERDEADROMEO April 29, 2023
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Jesus loves you

Manipulation. A simple way to push your religion on people who don’t give a flying fuck about your book club.
*someone chilling and being themselves (typically people who are lgbtq)*
“Jesus loves you”
by Awe.skeetskeeg February 11, 2024
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