Gnat
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Gnat
AKA Friut Fly
AKA Nature's Asshole
At birth, gnats are given three objectives in life that they feverishly carry out with as much enthusiasm as a swinger at a wife swap.
First, they must at all costs have an innate desire to locate the nostrils of homosapiens and fly straight in to them no matter how visiously they are swatted at.
Second, baring deflection from nostril penetration, they are given an intense sexual desire to mate with the human uvula. Typically the man or woman being attacked are so busy shouting obsenities at the gnat so as to allow easy access in to the mouth and straight to the back of the throat.
Third, they are drawn to the sweet, sweet odor of feces. This causes a high concentration of the little assholes where ever there is a place mired in shit, such as open sewage lines, and your work place.
Presently there is no way to destroy gnats permantly, however a good clapping of the hands have brought many a gnat to their compressed demise. In 1915 a Dutch farmer, after becoming violently enraged from swallowing one to many gnats over a humid summer, devised a gnat trap which are still in use to day. Striking a blow for human kind everywhere these traps are comprised of sucrose water made to smell like the uvula which draw gnats in and drown them in a watery tomb. This of course is only a temporary measure as they tend to re-appear a week later after one of your asshole co-workers leaves a banana to brown on his desk thus starting the cycle over again.
AKA Nature's Asshole
At birth, gnats are given three objectives in life that they feverishly carry out with as much enthusiasm as a swinger at a wife swap.
First, they must at all costs have an innate desire to locate the nostrils of homosapiens and fly straight in to them no matter how visiously they are swatted at.
Second, baring deflection from nostril penetration, they are given an intense sexual desire to mate with the human uvula. Typically the man or woman being attacked are so busy shouting obsenities at the gnat so as to allow easy access in to the mouth and straight to the back of the throat.
Third, they are drawn to the sweet, sweet odor of feces. This causes a high concentration of the little assholes where ever there is a place mired in shit, such as open sewage lines, and your work place.
Presently there is no way to destroy gnats permantly, however a good clapping of the hands have brought many a gnat to their compressed demise. In 1915 a Dutch farmer, after becoming violently enraged from swallowing one to many gnats over a humid summer, devised a gnat trap which are still in use to day. Striking a blow for human kind everywhere these traps are comprised of sucrose water made to smell like the uvula which draw gnats in and drown them in a watery tomb. This of course is only a temporary measure as they tend to re-appear a week later after one of your asshole co-workers leaves a banana to brown on his desk thus starting the cycle over again.
Fucking gnat is pissing me off, did Jeremy leave a banana on his desk again? If he did I'll *CHOKE* *COUGH* *COUGH* AH FUCK I SWALLOWED IT! *COUGH* *COUGH*
Gnat by The Sharpie November 2, 2010
Related Words
gnat • gnat bread • gnat's ass • gnat butter • gnat tats • gnatnoop • gnats bollock • gnats cock • GNATSTI • Gnatt
gnat
That gnat is driving me crazy.
Dude, help me I bought that gnat a drink and man did I make a mistake, because she won't get the hint now.
Dude, help me I bought that gnat a drink and man did I make a mistake, because she won't get the hint now.
gnat by Bob Ricard October 20, 2006
gnat
gnat by Clearly Me September 24, 2009
GNAT
Little pesky bitch's! The kind that no matter how hard you try to get rid of they just keep coming back! So you need to find the source to kill them little hoes!
Another name for: AN ANNOYING LITTLE BITCH!
Cleanest version for HOLY GRAIL of swear words: PUSSY, ASSHOLE, BITCH ETC...
GNAT
Another name for: AN ANNOYING LITTLE BITCH!
Cleanest version for HOLY GRAIL of swear words: PUSSY, ASSHOLE, BITCH ETC...
GNAT
He's such a GNAT!
Whatta GNAT!
Stop acting like an GNAT!
Freaking GNAT!
You're such a GNAT!
Que GNAT!
Pinche GNAT!
Ok, you get it... Right?
GNAT
Whatta GNAT!
Stop acting like an GNAT!
Freaking GNAT!
You're such a GNAT!
Que GNAT!
Pinche GNAT!
Ok, you get it... Right?
GNAT
GNAT by mea2smiley August 27, 2018
Gnat
Those evil looking things you see on the ceiling. On occasions you will see a gnat, get real close to so you can kill it, and then suddenly realise it's a moth! This is all part of the Gnats plan...It will now stick his menacing probe in any part of your body and you won't even realise.
Whilst you are chilling out listen to some David Bowie:
Peter: Have you heard Beauty And The Beast yet? It's in the Heroes album.
Stephen: AGHHHHHH!!!!!!
Peter: What is it?
Stephen: It's a gnat!!!! Get under the covers quick!
Peter: (heroically) No don't worry, I shall exterminate it!
Stephen: Oh you hero!
Peter: No, wait it's a moth.
Peter: Have you heard Beauty And The Beast yet? It's in the Heroes album.
Stephen: AGHHHHHH!!!!!!
Peter: What is it?
Stephen: It's a gnat!!!! Get under the covers quick!
Peter: (heroically) No don't worry, I shall exterminate it!
Stephen: Oh you hero!
Peter: No, wait it's a moth.
Gnat by diamondmanizzle3 September 4, 2013