diamondmanizzle3's definitions

Mid-life crisis,

1.) What most cats seem to be into.
2.) What dogs are like when they're dinner bowl is empty.
3.) What humans call the point of their life when they realise they can't be want they want to be or when they realise half their life is gone and the rest of their life involves tea, coffee and hospitals.

Damn, Stephen is in a real mid-life crisis, he dresses up everyday as a Bowie alter ego, look at him now, a bloody thin white duke.

by diamondmanizzle3 September 5, 2013

long balls

something really boring and seemingly never ending. It can also be used for perfunctory tasks.

doing the housework is long balls

by diamondmanizzle3 October 28, 2013

perfunctory

An action carried out without real interest, feeling, or effort.

When i watch T.V I feel like I just did something perfunctory

by diamondmanizzle3 October 28, 2013

One Eyed

Only seeing in one direction.
Oblivious to other views and opinions.
Pirate...

Person 1: Homosexuality is wrong!
Person 2: But they've found love, surely if two people find...
Person 1: (Interrupts) IT'S WRONG!

Example of someone being One Eyed

by diamondmanizzle3 March 1, 2014

Gnat

Those evil looking things you see on the ceiling. On occasions you will see a gnat, get real close to so you can kill it, and then suddenly realise it's a moth! This is all part of the Gnats plan...It will now stick his menacing probe in any part of your body and you won't even realise.

Whilst you are chilling out listen to some David Bowie:

Peter: Have you heard Beauty And The Beast yet? It's in the Heroes album.
Stephen: AGHHHHHH!!!!!!
Peter: What is it?
Stephen: It's a gnat!!!! Get under the covers quick!
Peter: (heroically) No don't worry, I shall exterminate it!
Stephen: Oh you hero!
Peter: No, wait it's a moth.

by diamondmanizzle3 September 4, 2013

Justin Bieber

Music without taste. Mostly auto-tuned and basically not real. Most girls seem to be obsessed with him, even though he is terrible at the only job he has to do-make music. And even when he fakes it (which is all the time) it still sounds awful.

(Horrible music playing in background)
Peter: Oh Jesus! What is this filth?
Daughter: O-M-G how do u not like dis music. This is well sick.
Peter: But it's not Bowie?
Daughter: Who?
Peter: You are no daughter of mine.
Daughter: O-M-G dad! It's Justin Bieber.

(Whilst i'm writing this, the word 'Bieber' has a squiggly red line underneath it. However unfair this world, there is atleast some satisfaction in that).

by diamondmanizzle3 September 4, 2013

Icing a bro

Planting a Smirnoff Ice in a surprising and/or funny location. The Smirnoff Ice cannot be in a expected location otherwise the victim has the right to appeal the icing.

The victim who discovers the ice then has to get on one knee and down the ice. However if the victim carries an ice for protection (like a condom) then it turns into a counter ice and the perpetrator then has to down his own ice.

At the workplace, you are plotting icing a bro. You hide a convenient ice in a draw so when your colleague goes to open his draw for a pencil he discovers an ice. He is very surprised and a crowd of perpetrators who plotted the ice gather round. He stands up, gets on one knee and downs his ice since he doesn't carry a protective ice.

by diamondmanizzle3 February 25, 2014