Noun. A girlfriend who wants to control your weiner with a poisonous, spiked, explosive ball and chain. This girl consumes every waking moment of your life while depriving you of vaginal delight. She provides you with all of the hardships associated with a fiancee while presenting none of the benefits of having a casual girlfriend. Once sucked into the black hole of the girlancee, there is simply no hope of returning to a life containing anything remotely resembling happiness.
"Hey, where is our roommate Calvin?" roommate 1. "Oh, he is at his girlancee's house," roommate 2. "Poor guy," roommate 1.
Fogey/fogy /fougi/ sl. (early 18C+, orig. Scot) old-fashioned, stuck-in-the mud.
Person with old fashioned ideas which he is unwilling to change: Come to the disco and stop being such an old fogey!
You think me an old fogeyand an old tory, his thoughtful voice said. I saw three generations since O’Connel’s time. I remember the famine. Do you know that the orange lodges agitated for repeal of the union twenty years before O’Connel did or before the prelates of your communion denounced him as a demagogue? You fenians forget some things. (James Joyce, Ulysses. Penguin Books,1992. p. 38)