Skip to main content

Excuse Merchant 

Someone who at a moments notice can pull an excuse for just about anything out of their ass. This happens often when defending a sports team or the reasons someone is dating busted girl. Everyone knows the usual list of excuses and weather they say it or not they are all thinking "man what an excuse merchant".
Hey Joey, the NY Giants Suck this year.

Joey: "No they don't they would be undefeated if Eli didn't cut his face shaving in week 3"

Here we go again... What an excuse merchant.
Excuse Merchant by bt3101 November 30, 2011
Excuse Merchant mug front
Get the Excuse Merchant mug.
See more merch

excuse merchant 

when confronted about the failure of your favorite players to perform , you immediately start making excuses to deflect the blame .
Heckling Fans :"Eli rules!" and "Eli owns your husband,"

Gisele Bundchen :"You have to catch the ball when you're supposed to catch the ball," she said angrily to those around her.

"My husband cannot f--king throw the ball and catch the ball at the same time. I can't believe they dropped the ball so many times."

"The Queen of all excuse merchants "
excuse merchant by krazy836 March 14, 2012

funiosity 

The art of being peculiar, but in an amusing fashion.
"Wow, look at that dog running on three legs"
- "Yeah, that sure is a funiosity"
funiosity by Supersonic Stevie November 23, 2007
Word of the Day on July 25, 2026
A toe rag was originally a foot wrapping used, since mediaeval times up until the mid-nineteenth century, to protect the foot from chafing by boots or shoes. As these were, quite literally, rags they weren’t usually washed, and so with use they became very smelly until they were thrown away. Because of the similarity in smell, toe rag also became the name applied to dried, salted cod or other things with a strong, unpleasant, fishy smell. It didn’t take that long before the name was applied to someone who was an obnoxious, unpleasant OIC.
1 “Socks! Those aren’t socks you smelly git, they’re toe rags!”
2 “What have you been cooking? Smells like toe rag!”
3 “I can smell ‘er fanny from ‘ere, proper toe rag.”
4 That Heale Malcolm is a right toe rag.
Toe Rag by AKACroatalin November 29, 2016
Word of the Day on July 24, 2026

Eternity leave 

When some resigns or retires from a job, they are on "eternity leave". This can also refer to someone who has passed away, especially someone who worked somewhere for a long time, retired/resigned, then passed away later.
Oh I'm sorry, you didn't know that Kelly is on eternity leave? She resigned and moved to Hawaii!

With regrets I would like to inform you that my boss is officially on eternity leave. I will never see or hear them again. Ever.
Eternity leave by LingDanc803 February 7, 2023
Word of the Day on July 23, 2026
The hypothetical man (often a sinister character who decided not to go to boot camp) that is doing your girlfriend/wife while you are on deployment overseas.
Ain't no use in goin home,
Jody's got your girl and gone.
Ain't no use in goin back,
Jody's got your Cadillac,
Ain't no use in feeling blue,
Jody's took your checkbook too.
jody by Sgt Apan March 31, 2006
Word of the Day on July 22, 2026

girl grip 

The ability girls and women have developed to hold several items at once in one hand. The skill has been developed due to the lack of pockets in women's clothing.
I thought she'd need multiple trips to carry her phone, keys, wallet, and Starbucks to her car since she needed the other hand to open the door, but she used her impressive girl grip to carry everything in one hand.
girl grip by SillyMilly33 July 31, 2023
Word of the Day on July 21, 2026