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eating watermelon 

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Chinese netspeak.

Indicates that someone is observing but not getting involved.

Originates from an interview in China where reporters asked a man if he saw the incident and he responded 'I have no idea. I'm just eating watermelon'.
I don't know what the couple is fighting about next door. I'm just eating my watermelon.

A: Did you hear about what's going in (place?)

B: I heard but I've been eating watermelon all day!
eating watermelon by fw103 August 28, 2021
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Eating Watermelon 

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Chinese net-slang.
The act of consuming a dramatic story typically involving celebrities as it develops WITHOUT GETTING INVOLVED IN THE CONVERSATION, usually via social media posts. These stories are juicy, sweet, and lacking substance, much like a watermelon.

Synonym: buying soya sauce - to indicate one is not involved in the drama currently unfolding.
eg. The crowds of watermelon eaters eagerly wait for more details to be dug up as the story develops.

A: Did you see that post too lol, man I really wanna say something.
B: Don't engage if you don't wanna get trolled, just eat your watermelon and enjoy.

So many stories this year had us eating watermelon non-stop!
Eating Watermelon by SxHustles December 5, 2021

self eating watermelon 

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A process or organization with little value or function other than to support its own existence. Similar to a self licking ice-cream cone (see spinnish )
The Orlando Expressway Authority's advertising budget just goes to prove what a self eating watermelon it's become
self eating watermelon by jondrew December 13, 2010

gellin' like a felon eating watermelon 

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an expressionwearing Dr. Scholls footwear.
Fred:how are those new shoe soles?
Ted: totally far out. i'm gellin' like a felon eating watermelon.
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minimap 

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Dotard 

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That dotard is going to get us all blown up, if he doesn't calm down .
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Chancla

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My mom hit me with a chancla.
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