doucherectomy

When one attempts to reinvent oneself in the hope of excising or removing one's douche-like qualities

Chris: Mike is such a shitpile. I can't handle it anymore.

Kevin: I don't know, he'd probably say that's 'subjectable'
Chris: How can he? He's a useless twat lip
Kevin: He might not be so bad if he got a doucherectomy
Chris: There's no help for him

doucherectomy by Cebbin December 31, 2013

Douchectomy

The act of removing a douchbag from ones life.

Sally: Brad blew me off again last night.

Susie: You just need to perform a douchectomy on him.

Douchectomy by Paigeyloo April 7, 2009

Douchectomy

The surgical removal of douchebaggery from an infected individual. This procedure is very risky and is typically performed only in emergencies; in severe cases where the douchebaggery has had time to metastasize the operation is often fatal.

"Listen guys, I know it's bad, but it's just too late! If we give him a douchectomy now it's going to kill him: the disease has spread so far that there won't be anything left you can see without a microscope!

....Hell, maybe that ain't so bad."

Douchectomy by Southern Geologist October 12, 2016