Doffensive 

Verb. A new tactic introduced by the San Diego Fire Dept circa. 2011,and continued into practice today, whereby your fire attack consists of going offensive, getting scared, going defensive for hours, then going offensive again and sending your men into an unsafe building. Famous examples include the University Ave and Kettlebell Gym fires.

"Hey man did you go to that fire last night?"

"Yeah, we burnt that place to the ground. It was a total doffensive fire"

Doffensive by Sgt Shmuckleberry Hound June 21, 2013

doffensive 

A driver who goes in the fast lane and maintains a consistent speed by breaking the speed limit and not getting caught by cop

We came fast and we were doffensive all the way

doffensive by tintedwindow July 8, 2007

What the (Insert Non-Offensive Word Here) 

A phrase used instead of what the fuck or what the hell when you are in the presence of an adult or little child who you dont want to hear you say fuck or hell etc.

Micaela: Aaron I hate you soooo much!

Little Kid Walks In

Aaron: What the (Insert Non-Offensive Word Here)!!!!!

What the (Insert Non-Offensive Word Here) by akararules July 6, 2010

Bobuk defensive football philosophy

Tell him the basis of my defensive philosophy is if he can’t tackle the fucking dive then we’re playing strictly offense and we’re just gonna outscore the opponent

Did you hear the bobuk defensive football philosophy it’s pretty good... yeah man I don’t get why more nfl teams don’t use it

Bobuk defensive football philosophy by Easy Muther fuckin E May 19, 2020

Defensive Eating 

Strategically consuming food for the sole purpose of preventing others from getting it.

Matt’s mother-in-law unexpectedly arrived with a delicious dinner immediately after Matt finished a 12-inch sub. In order to prevent his wife from getting the surprise meal, he used defensive eating to consume the additional food.

Defensive Eating by CourtJ March 25, 2011

Offensive Jokes 

Things that people don't find funny because they are fucking pussies who can't take a joke! Some people would even call it "racist". Well shame on them!

Some offensive jokes include:

1. How do you know when a woman is going to have a black baby?
When she takes the tampon out, all the cotton is picked.

2. What do you call a group of white men running down a hill?
An avalanche.
What do you call a group of Mexicans running down a hill?
A mudslide.
What do you call a bunch of black men running down a hill?
911, there has been a jail break!

3. What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?
One is made of plastic and is dangerous for kids to play with, and the other is used to carry groceries!

Offensive Jokes by J-to the Dizzle January 19, 2019

defensive cockblock 

Act of interfering with someone who is kicking it to your piece.

Jim was all over my woman, so I had to defensive cockblock all night.

defensive cockblock by j May 13, 2005