a dirty johan is an explicit sexual act which occurs when a man and a
woman are engaged in intercourse, two German midgets (one named Johan) enter and defocate on the females chest and facial areas. Shortly after, the
men smear the fecal matter into specific patterns, replicating a German adapatation of the Karma Sutra. After the traditional smearing and design, the German
midget circle the female while chanting the German word for shit, or "shizer". To finalize the ceremonial tradition, the
woman subsequently engages in intercourse with both the original male and both German midgets. It is mandated in German tradition that consumation of the tradition only occurs when the
woman has all three parties participating in simultaneous penetration.
During my trip through Eastern Europe, I was absolutely delighted by my experience at one particular brothel. At this place of business, was when I first experienced the
dirty johan. At first, I was slightly apprehensive. However, I must say the German
men were terrific and to be honest, I've never seen anything quite as breath taking as a
woman, covered in feces, begging for rougher anal, vaginal and oral penetration. Needless to say, I was quite pleased. Oh and by the way, this brothel was in a
small corner of South Eastern Berlin. I can provide the name of the place if necessary. Happy hunting my fellow noble
men!