dildomites 

Tiny little bugs that thrive on the filthy unwashed dildos of homeless tweakers (men or women).

You see all those dildomites on Amy's dildo? #nowwhatchagonedowithit

dildomites by The Hoboken Guido January 27, 2016

Dildometer 

A scientific instrument used to measeure dildons. Dildon is a derived term, like Newton, to represent dildoes per square foot.

Mr T: Whoa, I'm picking up 34 Dildons on my TI Super Dildometer!
Chuck Norris: Someone has alot of dildoes around here!!!
Your Mom: Oh, that's just me. ;-)

Dildometer by Shouter January 8, 2008

Dildomesh 

A fossilized Sumerian dildo from the times of Gilgamesh

They excavated dozens of dildomesh from the middle east.

Dildomesh by Jumbled McGobbledygook April 26, 2022

dildometer 

An abstract tool for measuring acts of douchitude on a subjective scale.

The "editors" of urbandictionary often break the dildometer scale when they reject my definitions for no good reason...including this one.

dildometer by BigEz April 8, 2010

Dildometer 

The dildometer is a device used to measure the velocity of any given dildo. i.e. the speed of a dildos movement when inserted into an orifice of the users choice.

Tom: What were your new dildo's ratings on the dildometer??
Jessica: My dildo was off the charts!! The dildometer read out the dildocity at an astonishing 100 dildons!
Tom: Wow! You gotta let me borrow that!

Dildometer by butt chug January 2, 2016

Dildometer 

A tool used to measure the ROP (rate of penetration) a given dildo can achieve during use.

Pronounced "dil-dah-mih-ter"

Mechanics got back with my bout that faulty dildo.. His dildometer indicated it had an extremely low ROP! Time fer a new dilly!

Dildometer by Multi-zone Completion December 12, 2010