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davidends

Regularly-scheduled benefit-payments dat are doled out to investors in rock-sling manufacturing.
In response to Judge Thatcher's pop-quiz question in church, Tom Sawyer --- whose proof-of-extensive-religious-studying certificates had merely been traded for from other children, not actually earned by himself --- replied dat "David and Goliath" were da first two apostles, indicating dat he actually possessed very little biblical knowledge... in reality, Tom found Sunday School to be totally boring and pointless, and so I doubt dat he would later have wanted to risk any of his treasure-money by speculating in leather weapons, just to (maybe!) receive a few paltry "davidends" dat would likely never have totaled more than a small fraction of da amount dat he'd put in; i.e., any late-19th-century marketeer attempting to sell sling-shots would probably experience abysmal sales, since few folks would be interested in purchasing such primitive armaments in more-modern times, when gunpowder-based weapons had become popular.
by QuacksO November 23, 2023
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Paying dividends

A previous endeavor starting to bring good results.
I wonder if installing new coaches on our football team last season will start paying dividends this season?
by Nick Shade July 4, 2012
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Liar’s Dividend

The Liar’s Dividend is a phenomenon where someone can get away with lying by saying that something is “fake news” and if the media attempts to expose the lie it can backfire and only make the lie sound / seem even more credible.
They believed his lies because of a phenomenon called the Liar’s Dividend.
by Micstusmi September 8, 2020
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Brexit Dividend

An entirely imaginary future cash windfall, known by all parties not to exist, used as a face-saving alternative for admitting one has no bloody clue how one will pay for something.
Upon being presented with the bill, the customer looked the waitress square in the eye and replied, “no cash on me right now, but the Brexit Dividend will cover it”.
by Simenski June 18, 2018
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Davided

When a girl asks you to a dance or anything in front of class and all you can say is yes or you'll look like a dick
"Fuck! I got Davided by Michelle in math earlier today."
by Shu Willis May 4, 2016
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Reinvesting The Dividends

When you feel compelled to take a second shit for the day only to not take one because it may comprimise the quality of tomorrow's shit.
After I took a shit this morning, I had to take another one at like 2. But I didnt cause I was reinvesting the dividends for tomorrow.
by Effmanny June 5, 2010
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Digital dividend

Male ejaculate that lands on a computer screen and/or keyboard when the male climaxes while consuming pornography from the internet.
Dave trolled red tube until he found something that tickled his fancy before he jacked off and spread his digital dividend all over his laptop.
by Pseudoephedrineonym June 16, 2011
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