Somebody who will go on about something they think they know, but in reality they are making a very perverted joke. (normally edgy and kind of twisted)
"The cronk-ass-hoe was saying that they got some good head, but in the end he got his dick bit off but is too ashamed to admit to it."
"cook your ass up" is a phrase used by locals of the eastern coast of the United States which translates to a very lengthy, "to belittle, Insult, make fun of, ect. A specific individual to the point of submission from which they can not return or rebuttal from such devastating persecutions, although the statements made are from a joking stand point and should not be taken wholeheartedly"