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coeliac

I can't eat gluten. I'm celiac.
Don't you mean coeliac you dyslexic glutard?
by max hotep April 13, 2014
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coelacanth

A fish derived from a group once thought extinct. Used as a rhetorical tool by cryptozoologists and creationists to give themselves credibility; the former believe that if a "prehistoric fish" can be found then so can the big monsters that people cook up, while the latter believes that the fish is proof that animals don't evolve.
1. The cryptozoologists don't realize that there's a big difference between finding a coelacanth off the South African coast and finding a 10-foot hairy humanoid in the rapidly dissapearing wooded space in between Starbucks sites.

2. The creationists don't realize that it's the fish's lineage that's ancient and the fish is actually different than its fossil ancestors; and even if it hadn't, it wouldn't matter because natural selction will retard change if a species is perfectly adapted.
by Genetic_Mishap April 22, 2006
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celiac disease

An auto-immune disorder that causes intolerance to gluten, which is found in Wheat, Rye, Barley, Spelt, and several other grains - but NOT corn, rice, quinoa, or buckwheat.

If you are gluten intolerant or celiac, and you eat something with buckwheat, corn, rice, etc., and get sick, it's most likely due to cross contamination, or because you don't thoroughly read the ingredients. Another cause is that you may also have another intolerance or allergy, such as lactose or soy. Or, you ate something earlier in the day that you didn't react to until later, and now here you are blaming an innocent GF muffin. Shame on you.

If you are a celiac, you can't just watch out for bread. You have to also watch out for mayonaise, fake eggs, restaurant eggs, bbq sauce, soy sauce, salad dressing, soup, chili, processed foods, fake meat, low grade meat with fillers, malted beverages, gravy, meat bastes, mixed spices, any kind of sauce, anything you've never heard of... There might even be gluten in your shampoo. It's really easy to get sick if you're not careful.

Reactions to gluten in someone with celiac disease can occur immediately, or hours later. These reactions are nearly all-inclusive, and range from rashes, to abdominal pain, to crazy hallucinations and mood swings. But you can always bet that if you give a celiac a (non-gluten-free) cookie, he or she will ask for some pepto-bismol, directions to the bathroom, and a frying pan to hit you in the face with.
Did you see that House episode with the woman who had celiac disease, who was completely crazy and dying? That's what happens to me when I eat pie!
by celiac maniac August 25, 2010
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celiac quack

once you celiac, youre bound to quack
Me: Does this coke have quack in it?

Me: Fuck I mean gluten

-celiac quack-
by quackster911 November 17, 2022
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coelacanth

n. 1. a Cretaceous fish, thought to be extinct but found living off the coast of Africa in 1938.
2. a Vietnam-era liberal, still clinging to tired old neo-Marxist canards long after everyone else has left the swamp for dry land. See Chomsky; Kerry; Gore; Jennifer Aniston.
John F. Kerry is a coelacanth on domestic and foreign policy issues.
by Sidmystic July 1, 2004
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Celiac Disease

A really shitty auto-immune disorder that comes about from an intolerance of gluten (wheat, barley, rye, spelt, teff, buckwheat, quinoa, etc.) and makes you have to cook everything you eat. It also means you can't have pizza, ramen noodles, or easy mac, which is what most people live off of.

Some Celiacs can't have soy or milk either. So basically they can't eat anything. It's a blast.

Celiac Disease is WIDELY misdiagnosed. Most people who have it suffer an average of 9 years before some stupid doctor finally realizes what's wrong with them.
A person with Celiac Disease cannot eat pizza, which is obviously a tragic thing.
by Ashley the Celiac November 17, 2006
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Celiac

Sucks. Can't eat gluten cause your immune system's dumb and attacks itself when you eat it. Actually spelt Coeliac but no one remembers that.
Non celiac:' yummmm this gluten food is sooooo nice!'
Celiac:'ARGH GET YOUR SCUMMY GLUTEN FOOD AWAY FROM MEEE'
Non celiacs: ' oh ahahaha you can't even eat this?'
Celiac: 'nope I just have to buy SUPER EXPENSIVE gluten free food instead'
Non celiac:' hahaha sucks to be you, your such a celiac'
Celiac:' yep'
by Glutenfreeceliac September 5, 2019
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