clutcher

Heart attack created when some fat fuck who had one "clutched" his chest

Phil had a clutcher. now he's dead.

by Gimpy Pete May 13, 2005

Clutcher

(clutcher) One who holds a portable coffee cup or mug in public locations. Mostly seen at malls, flea markets, retail shops, grocery stores, rummage sales, soccer games, or strolling around various public locations. The (clutcher) has a higher rate of visibility during weekends and holidays and is more visible in affluent areas. Can be used to describe the holder of the vessel or the name can be used for the vessel itself.

Strolling around the outdoor mall we see (clutchers) enjoying themselves on their way out of the coffee shop to (clutch) their way through their day.

by Johnny65 September 6, 2013

Clutcher

A secret-keeper; to clutch is to know some of the best gossip but keep it tight-lipped.

My mother thinks I'll be an awful clutcher, because I spill things from stirring them to quickly. -Kate Nash

by Chel-say November 3, 2011

pearl clutcher

An uptight person, usually but not always female, usually but not always of conservative mores, who reacts with shock, feigned or otherwise, at other people's violations of decorum, propriety, morality, and so forth.

Someone got up at the PTA meeting and suggested the school hand out condoms to teenagers. The pearl clutchers in the audience nearly went into cardiac arrest.

by Emdeecee January 3, 2008

pearl-clutcher

An extremely easily-offended person, especially to the point of histrionic screaming and grandstanding.

Twitter used to be great, but then all the pearl-clutchers discovered it.

by Nixie Flatline February 7, 2018

Crystal Clutcher

Someone who believes in any of a number of "New Age" superstitious idiocy, such as: Catholic relics, speaking in tongues, dowsing, magnetic hills, UFOs, astrology, psychic power, homeopathy, therapeutic touch, some kinds of alternative medicine, spinal subluxations, channeling, mediums, and most particularly crystal power.

Every time I go to the sci-fi convention, there's always some stupid Crystal Clutcher trying to sell me a psychic reading.

by Ian December 7, 2004

purse clutcher

A white woman who clutches her purse abrubptly and close to her body, when nearby or approched by a male minority.

"That old white bitch in the elevator sure was a purse clutcher!"

by sandy5.0 January 2, 2015