Skip to main content

charvae

The plural term for the Newcastle 'charva', usually the name given to the swine-hordes of morons who make up approximately one half of the native Newcastle population. Their numbers are maintained by the inbreeding of charvae at approx 14 years old, which results in accidental pregnancy and produces the next generation of unwanted children. The prospects of being taught to use their brains, be educated, make a contribution to history, earn money, learn a trade or possess self-esteem are woefully low and means that we all feel sorry for charva under-fives. If they reach 14, then the cycle will repeat itself.

Charvae are distinct even when naked, because of their gaunt appearance and the look of borrowed flesh, hanging loose from their bones due to their peculiar dietary habits which leads them to malnourishment. The charva food-cupboard
comprises tinned hot-dogs, baked beans, pasta'n'sauce (for the posher ones)and may even stretch to a packet of dairylea, all bought in mountainous bulk on giro day from Netto (or maybe Morrisons if they're walking home.) White cider is the chosen beverage, which is taken several times a day at intervals, with class B drugs. Celebratory splash-out meals are had from time to time, when charvae 'get raj' at McDonalds.

Despite being pathetic, doomed losers and non-achievers, creatures that we all wish to help, charvae do have value, as they are walking, breathing examples of the importance of birth control.
'charvae are like larvae, but they can never grow.'
by evelyn wuaghfare November 23, 2003
mugGet the charvae mug.

charvae

Noun, plural term for the Newcastle charva
'Charvae think they're scary and hard, but in fact they're just very, very, VERY funny' or 'charvae are like larvae, except they don't grow'
by evelyn waughfare November 24, 2003
mugGet the charvae mug.
Related Words

Charvarmarch

To thank

Pronounced: char-var-march
Can you pass me that?
Ok
Charvarmarch
by Adam55445 August 4, 2012
mugGet the Charvarmarch mug.

Chardae

Loyalty beyond measure. Keeps It real at all costs, known too love even when there isn't reason... Easily influenced but once mad hard to calm down.... The definition of whats real and genuine... Most Chardaes are shapely and beautiful easy to fall in love with find you a Chardae💖
Chardae changed his life at first glance...
by ShadeyMae December 24, 2016
mugGet the Chardae mug.

charver

See also charva.
This variety of (allegedly) human beings mainly habitate streets in the North East of England. Female charvers are recognised by their rock-solid fringes, loop earings large enough to be used as truck wheels, and the collection of scrunchies in their hair. The males are less distinctive, but can be differentiated from other breeds of human by the distinct lack of any common sense. The common charver hangs in herds of up to twenty, and can be easily tracked by following the clouds of cigarette smoke.
The charver reaches motherhood age at approximately 13 years, and gives birth to usually one live young. The charver will have many mates during it's lifetime.
Charver pastimes include smoking, scaring old people, and bullying young people. In the absense of other species to bully, the charver will turn on it's own kind.
No, we can't go shopping today, the charvers are after me again.
by Katie December 3, 2003
mugGet the charver mug.

Git back charva

Said after you do something that’s good or impressive.
“You had like 20 shots and got hammered
“Git back charva
by Active Menace February 13, 2022
mugGet the Git back charva mug.

Charva

These strange species can seem perfectly harmless until they are placed in their natural habitat. If there is a silverbacked charva who is superior to everyone as he has the latest Scooter album, the other charvas will form a protective ring around him.
These scourge plague the streets of most cities, but most of all Newcastle. The male of the species will have short spiked hair, and will pretend their voice is deep years before it has broken, which appears to be an effective mating call. The female of the species will wear truckloads of makeup and huge (often plastic) earrings the size of the millennium wheel. If temperatures are below -5 degrees C, they will feel inclined to wear a mini skirt which barely covers their hips (see also: Micro Skirt)
When the male and female of the species meet, the male will put on a burbry cap to seem more attractive. Within an hour the two will have engaged in unprotected sex and whoops!...there goes another teenage pregnancy, another scum bag to pay for in our taxes!
Charvas will also force themselves to start smoking at the age of about 12, which is a sign that they are "Hard" or "Belter".
Any human verbal interaction with these vermin will result in an absolutely moronic response such as "Hew man you fucking daft cunt!" when asked to rephrase their inadequately worded statement, the same, only slightly more angry response is thrown at you.
No other 'race' other than their own is acceptable. Any goths, punks, skaters or grungies are renamed to "tree huggers" or "hippys". They do not have the brain cells to understand that they are infact the worst scourge of this planet!
Lastly, they will start fights with anybody that's smaller than them, to try and make themselves feel highly superior, and to try and impress the opposite sex. The long long list could go on forever.
To sum it up, these spangle stained hooligans are a dire example of Darwin's "Survival of the fittest" and are a complete waste of space, carbon lifeform, and tax payers money!
Look! There's some charvs! Where's that nitroglycerin I prepared earlier?
by Peter Adams January 6, 2004
mugGet the Charva mug.

Share this definition

Sign in to vote

We'll email you a link to sign in instantly.

Or

Check your email

We sent a link to

Open your email