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These strange species can seem perfectly harmless until they are placed in their natural habitat. If there is a silverbacked charva who is superior to everyone as he has the latest Scooter album, the other charvas will form a protective ring around him.
These scourge plague the streets of most cities, but most of all Newcastle. The male of the species will have short spiked hair, and will pretend their voice is deep years before it has broken, which appears to be an effective mating call. The female of the species will wear truckloads of makeup and huge (often plastic) earrings the size of the millennium wheel. If temperatures are below -5 degrees C, they will feel inclined to wear a mini skirt which barely covers their hips (see also: Micro Skirt)
When the male and female of the species meet, the male will put on a burbry cap to seem more attractive. Within an hour the two will have engaged in unprotected sex and whoops!...there goes another teenage pregnancy, another scum bag to pay for in our taxes!
Charvas will also force themselves to start smoking at the age of about 12, which is a sign that they are "Hard" or "Belter".
Any human verbal interaction with these vermin will result in an absolutely moronic response such as "Hew man you fucking daft cunt!" when asked to rephrase their inadequately worded statement, the same, only slightly more angry response is thrown at you.
No other 'race' other than their own is acceptable. Any goths, punks, skaters or grungies are renamed to "tree huggers" or "hippys". They do not have the brain cells to understand that they are infact the worst scourge of this planet!
Lastly, they will start fights with anybody that's smaller than them, to try and make themselves feel highly superior, and to try and impress the opposite sex. The long long list could go on forever.
To sum it up, these spangle stained hooligans are a dire example of Darwin's "Survival of the fittest" and are a complete waste of space, carbon lifeform, and tax payers money!
Look! There's some charvs! Where's that nitroglycerin I prepared earlier?
by Peter Adams January 06, 2004
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If you are out walking one fine day in the north east of england, often Meadowell or Percy main, you may notice one or two strange things. One is the Charva...
HOW TO SPOT A CHARVA:- MALES

An incredibly stupid species, the male charva is no smart guy. His main aims in life are to get laid, buy a car and become builder. In high school the charv male will spend his weekends walking round the streets of tynemouth or cullercoats (or anywhere which he does not belong) cluttering up the place and making it look untidy. He will pick fights with people who are ususpecting and innocent and will make a point of choosing people who go to a school he does not like. After becoming severly drunk on three litres of ice dragon (cider) he will then begin to smash up anything and everything within reach. Once he hits college the male charva will buy or more than likely steal a car and then spend his weekends crusing around in that. The car must be a corsa, have strobes attatched to it and it must have music blaring out of all windows at full volume. They then proceed to the sea front in packs of 100 where they continue to drink (they have to beacuse otherwise they would notice how minging the lasses were). The attire is standard through out the charva family. A fake burberry cap worn at 90 degrees to the head, a stripey jumper of the Fred Perry sort and any type of tracksuit bottom. However a berghaus and a pair of rockports are a neccesity!
HOW TO SPOT A CHARVA: FEMALES...
The girls are easier to spot as they never keep there mouths closed for long! They can always be heard screaming at the top of their lungs in the boots make up department, on the metro or anywhere in north shields as they smack their two year old kids they had when they were 14 and complain about their mothers/boyfriends/teacher/everything.
Their dress is simple, a skirt (which never stays on for long anyway) a stripey jumper, fishnet tights, rockports and a berghaus! They spend their weekends riding in cars with incompetent dick heads who are four years older than them, drinking bottles of bella, or on giro days, lambrini and making more babies with a guy they hardly know whos nickname is 'knife'.
If you hear any of the following please head for your nearest police station or mental health ward. Alternatively you can use some of the follwing comebacks. (WARNING: some of these may result in your immidiate admittance to hospital with a two litre bottle of ice dragon stuck down your throat)

CHARV-Whar Leek!" YOU-"Eh?"
CHARV-"Wot yee looking at?!" YOU- "I dont know but its looking back"
CHARV-"Ahm gonna bray ya allover!" YOU- well could you get on with it then because im late for my judo lesson"
CHARV-"Look theres tha sea! Can Ya swim?" YOU-"can you?"
CHARV-"Arh yee Looking at me lass!" YOU-"Fortunatley not!"
by The one who speaks the truth! January 23, 2004
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3
charvas are a bunch of radgies that do nowt except drink bella, smoke small quantities of cannabis (they claim it's much more) and walk round thinkin' thjey're great coz they wear top label gear (all stolen). thay also think "new monkey" tunes are mint, when it's quite obvious that it's all shite
"here, have u hord the new monkey tape from friday neet?"
by lol pmsl lmfao June 01, 2004
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In-depth definition, PART ONE:
CHARVA - Noun, usually the name given to the swine-hordes of unwanted bastard children who make up approximately one quarter of the native Newcastle population. The word is constructed through the corruption of the term CHARmless VAgrant. Their numbers are maintained by the inbreeding of charvae at approx 14 years old, which results in accidental pregnancy and produces the next generation of unloved barking cabbages. Because of the rapidly shrinking gene-pool that creates charvae, vital DNA-codes are being lost and quality is being dumped in favour of quantity. The prospects of being taught to use their brains, of being educated, of making a contribution to history, of earning money, of learning at least one skill, of manipulating their environment, of producing art or of ever being possessed of self-esteem are woefully low and this means that we all feel a strong pathos for charva under-fives. The charva learning curve is actually unique in the whole world, peaking as it does at 6 years old. This is mirrored in their physical development, which hits a ceiling of about 5 feet 5 inches for males and 4 feet 9 inches for charvettes, occasionally delivering us a towering giant of 5 foot 10. If they reach 14, then the whole cycle will repeat itself in an ever-growing downward spiral. Because of this accelerated procreation rate, charva girls are actually beginning to be BORN pregnant.
'Charva girls are actually beginning to be BORN pregnant.
by evelyn waughfare November 29, 2003
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A charva (sngl) is a person that has a very low IQ, a very limited vocabulary and a very low status on the social ladder of the United Kingdom. Charvers (pl)originally from the North East reigon of England (eg Newcastle, Sunderland & Middlesbrough) plague the streets of these cities in large groups as it it the only way for them to gather any remote intelligence of their species as indivaidual charvers only have a fraction of a brain-cell within them.

This inferior species of mankind are set in the ways of trying to destroy themselves by taking drugs, drinking cheap alchol such as cider, by smoking. Charvers also put the lives of other people at stake as well as the have a habit of stealing cars (particularly old models of nissans and fords as well as transit vans) and driving them at unsafe velocities until the crash which then causes their inferior minds to contemplate setting the car or van alight as they believe it is a good idea and fun.

Should you run into a charva or a group of charvers (otherwise known as a crew) you are likely to be asked a question in the language of the charva that is almost impossible to understand. At the most a charva may be able to make a barley co-herient sentence such as "Lens 'is a tab" or " Hu you think ur lukin at, ye want bangin out"

Charvers dispise anyone who shows any signs of individuality. They can only tolerate being around people who dress like them. The typical charver clothing consists of a horizontally striped fred perry jumper, tracksuit bottoms, over priced hiking boots named rockports and overpriced waterproof coats called berghaus's.

Should you come across any of these poor, socially retarded, exuses of human beings it is recommended that you do not make eye contact and that you walk away as if they detect any eye contact between you and them they will look to pick a fight with you.
The view on charvers in many north eastern cities of the UK is that they are a waste of time, space, money and resources and that they only exist as a plague of todays modern day society.
by wildthing June 29, 2004
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Primarily originated in the NE of England esp. Newcastle, the charva occupies the bottom rung of the social ladder, characterised by a love of garish sportswear, cheap jewelry and Dyson hoovers. Houses chacracterized by wallpaper stripey on top, flowery on bottom, separated by dado rail, with a ceiling fan. Toon Army wallpaper in bedroom. Tasteless but expensive sofa, widescreen TV and DVD on 20 year credit. Citrus coloured toaster and kettle. Holiday in Tenerife. Profoundly inarticulate.
How pet, there`s two charvas in the back lane. Fetch us me gun, will yu?
by Jamie April 13, 2003
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