Captain Unicorn 

1. The best damn advice giver in the universe on strangecrap.com
Function: Czar of Information, Black Market Baby Broker, Bringer of Light, Guinness Drinker
Hobbies: Drinking Beer, Fighting Crime, Commiting Crimes, Burning Things, Making RED Paint
Favorite Color: White Noise

That Captain Unicorn told me to go kill myself for being so goddamn stupid. He's smart.

Captain Unicorn by Bud E Love May 14, 2003

captain unicorn porn 

One whom regularly enjoys viewing porn of the unicorn variety, and/or has excessive amounts of unicorn porn on his porn viewing device, usually fat, smelly, acne riddled, mentally retarded, and/or socially awkward

Yo captain unicorn porn has a ton of unicorn porn on his phone

captain unicorn porn by Captain unicorn porn July 12, 2014