cable guy
cable guy by trizmcmany December 15, 2004
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Cable Guy
noun
(No relation to the movie)
An eldritch, yet anthropomorphic being, that carries a 7.5 foot long instrument cable coiled on his shoulder, like a tired emperor his laurel. All he can do is chant his own name like a fucking retard, with an eerie cadence (puts emphasis on "Ca-" and "Guy"). Whenever he sees straight lines of many colors that are parallel until they all diverge, he points at it, opens his mouth wide and screams "BTBAM Colors ref!!". He generalizes everyone's problems to Evangelion references, and when someone complains about the relevant political system, he remarks that "George Carlin was right".
He is a member of the Busymasons, along with many kindred spirits, such as the Nihilospiritual Spheregypsy, The no. 1 client of Cuba Snus in the world, Captain Henry Morgan's deputy, Pumpkin Seed, and last but not least, the Only Real Citizen of Budapest.
Despite being an obnoxious fuckwit, he is sexy and posesses a deep throat and a mysteriously always full can of Hell energy. He can be observed anywhere, really, where one can buy CD's, energy drinks or menthol cigarettes
(No relation to the movie)
An eldritch, yet anthropomorphic being, that carries a 7.5 foot long instrument cable coiled on his shoulder, like a tired emperor his laurel. All he can do is chant his own name like a fucking retard, with an eerie cadence (puts emphasis on "Ca-" and "Guy"). Whenever he sees straight lines of many colors that are parallel until they all diverge, he points at it, opens his mouth wide and screams "BTBAM Colors ref!!". He generalizes everyone's problems to Evangelion references, and when someone complains about the relevant political system, he remarks that "George Carlin was right".
He is a member of the Busymasons, along with many kindred spirits, such as the Nihilospiritual Spheregypsy, The no. 1 client of Cuba Snus in the world, Captain Henry Morgan's deputy, Pumpkin Seed, and last but not least, the Only Real Citizen of Budapest.
Despite being an obnoxious fuckwit, he is sexy and posesses a deep throat and a mysteriously always full can of Hell energy. He can be observed anywhere, really, where one can buy CD's, energy drinks or menthol cigarettes
E.g:
"Woah, look at that stunningly sexy young man... mmh.... I wish he didn't smell like a french person, cause I'd absolutely fuck him..."
"Dude... 1- You're a man, and that would be gay, 2- He's The Cable Guy. He's married to the game. He only ever fucks foam boards."
"Woah, look at that stunningly sexy young man... mmh.... I wish he didn't smell like a french person, cause I'd absolutely fuck him..."
"Dude... 1- You're a man, and that would be gay, 2- He's The Cable Guy. He's married to the game. He only ever fucks foam boards."
Cable Guy by Crimsonier25 July 11, 2026
Larry the Cable Guy
Here are some jokes from Larry the Cable Guy
"I was sniffing around at Victoria's Secret the other day. I was like a retard at a chucky cheese. Guess what they have. Underbritches with holes in the crotches. These things sell for 15 bucks. I'm sitting on a dwarful of those worth 250 bucks at home"
"They now have something called eatin' britches. I bought five pairs for my girlfriend and ate a couple on the way to her house. If they made biscuits and gravy flavored, I'd get fat just off that"
"I beleive if I was paid a dollar for every time my dad said he loved me...Well, money isn't important now"
"They say cellphones put microwaves in your body. This guy used one and pooped out a hot pocket"
"If you don't think that's funny, get the hell out of here"
"I have a deaf brother. He also has teret syndrome, so he's all like *makes nasty hand gestures*"
"My girlfriend read a hog hunter magazine and said 'Why don't you trim you're private areas, that'll look sexy.' Oh no, I said. An hour later I have razor bumps and toilet paper squares all over my balls"
"My grandma was in a farting contest..."
"GitRdone"
"I was sniffing around at Victoria's Secret the other day. I was like a retard at a chucky cheese. Guess what they have. Underbritches with holes in the crotches. These things sell for 15 bucks. I'm sitting on a dwarful of those worth 250 bucks at home"
"They now have something called eatin' britches. I bought five pairs for my girlfriend and ate a couple on the way to her house. If they made biscuits and gravy flavored, I'd get fat just off that"
"I beleive if I was paid a dollar for every time my dad said he loved me...Well, money isn't important now"
"They say cellphones put microwaves in your body. This guy used one and pooped out a hot pocket"
"If you don't think that's funny, get the hell out of here"
"I have a deaf brother. He also has teret syndrome, so he's all like *makes nasty hand gestures*"
"My girlfriend read a hog hunter magazine and said 'Why don't you trim you're private areas, that'll look sexy.' Oh no, I said. An hour later I have razor bumps and toilet paper squares all over my balls"
"My grandma was in a farting contest..."
"GitRdone"
Larry the Cable Guy bought a fart machine at the mall, used it everywhere, and gave it to his grandma for his birthday
Larry the Cable Guy by KaiserBasara December 28, 2005
Larry the Cable Guy
A redneck who should be put in a boat and sent to Angola. He has a comedy routine exploring redneck stuff, such as flatulance and fat women in thong, as he puts it, "britches." He also says Git r Done.
Larry the Cable Guy by MC Otter September 5, 2004