butt autism

The condition upon which one sits on the toilet until their butt turns numb. This condition can travel down your legs if untreated, leaving you with temporary paralysis and unable to avoid all the people you’ve pissed off by hogging the bathroom.

Matt: Where the hell were you and why you walking funny?
Dan: He was in the shitter for an hour and didn’t wash his hands.
Joel: I got butt autism and I need a place to lie down