A woman who tries to
trap a man by getting herself knocked up.
Obvious giveaways: she decides to have the
baby anyway. Even when he says he’s not into it. And then of course tries to lock him down.
Often the plan fails, which leads to repeat offenders. A single mom with a
baby or very young kid who wants lots of wild sex is highly suspect. Many try it again with a new target.
“Oops, I forgot to take my pill!” is the favorite method. But sperm burglars also poke holes in condoms, steal
jizz out of discarded condoms, or simply scoop the
cum inside her after he comes in her mouth or on her chest. It only takes one sperm to do the
job.
See also: daddy issues, Dependent Personality Disorder, stage 5 clingers.
John: Jane is perfect for me—she loves all the kinky shit I do to her—even cumming on her face!
Roger: Don’t fall for that man. You know Dave didn’t want to have a
kid, right? But she’s a sperm burglar, and she got him. He escaped though, so now she’s desperate to
hook some new
schmuck to take care of her and her expensive little mini.
John: Damn! No wonder she seemed too good to be true.
