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Board Monkey 

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I heard this expression "Board Monkey" first in the early 80's.
This is a term used to describe an inept electronics technician who, instead of just seeking out a cold solder joint in an IC (integrated circuit board) or replacing a 10 cent capacitor or equivalent small faulty component they will just order the whole part and make you pay for it, without doing a standard current continuity test.
Chances are you've been taken by a board monkey.
As a result, a 20 dollar bench time charge becomes hundreds of dollars in charges as a result of laziness, greed, (extra markup on new board) or lack of tenacity on the part of the technician.
This is one of the great hidden secrets of "repair ripoff". More people in this world have been burned by board monkeys anywhere, in any industry where electronics is remotely related, than any other scam in repair.
Personal example:
The panel of buttons between the two front seats in a 1989 Pontiac Bonneville has an integrated circuit board that apparently costs "750 dollars" Canadian. My daughter spilled a soft drink down between the buttons, rendering it unusable.
Upon telling them that a continuity test is in order with a bit of cleanup, instead of just a board replacement, the bill miraculously became 75 dollars and the panel was fixed and functional. I basically told them everything I said here to get these results.
Board Monkey by Omega Rat 1 August 26, 2009
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board monkey 

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Someone who spends so much time cruising the boards, that after making 10,000 posts, accidentally says something worthwhile.
"I HAVE 12,384 POSTS!! I are pwn Joo! I wonder why no one likes me?"

reply "Here's your sign, board monkey"
board monkey by Will of Stone February 5, 2004

monkey beard 

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A pudenda covered with bristles, similar to a chimp or monkeys chin. Can chafe or irritate the male groin during intercourse. Usually the result of non-frequent tending to the Lady Garden.
I dumped my load all over her monkey beard.
monkey beard by Steve Zodiac April 12, 2012

Weird as a monkey's beard 

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When something is just too weird, and the only way to describe it is that of a beard attached to a monkeys face.
Can you believe Shangela eats sofa cushions on the reg? That's weird as a monkey's beard!

Monkeytail Beard 

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A style of beard that resembles a monkey's tail wrapped around the face.

It starts from one ear like a chinstrap, and wraps around the chin and mouth, not connecting on the other side.
Hey, nice monkeytail beard. You look like an idiot.
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