bedside vaporlock 

Refers to the embarrassing --- not mention messy --- end-result of groggily rolling over on your side at da edge of da bed to use your screw-top pee-jar without having to actually stand up, but then --- in an effort to ensure that you won't splash or spill any urine as you're taking your whiz, you unknowingly press da rim of da jar too firmly against yer abdomen and thus form a tight seal between da rim and yer gut, causing gradual pressure-buildup inside da jar as it fills with your pee, and eventually forces droplets of urine-mist to explosively splutter out from around the rim.

One simple way to reduce the chance of bedside vaporlock is to refrain from shaving yourself "down there", since smooth rubbery freshly-denuded skin always permits a much easier/better "vacuum seal" than if there are thick wiry bristly hairs in the way. Unlike your scalp-tresses or beard, pubic hair usually only gets so long and then simply falls out (think, those short coarse springy hair-curls that you always find in your briefs and in da shower-stall), so unless you have a jock-itch/odor problem or your romantic partner strongly prefers da Baldy from Baldymoore look, there should seldom if ever be a need to "mow da downstairs lawn".

bedside vaporlock by QuacksO November 22, 2018