bedcramming 

To penetrate the area between your mattress and box spring with your penis. Can also be referred to as cramming your bed.

"I caught Alan drinking Scotch and bedcramming last night."
"You're never going to clear up that rash unless you stop cramming your bed."

bedcramming by Bedcrammer May 19, 2008

Solitary bedcrumbing 

The act of sitting on the end of a bed in a budget hotel chain consuming a low cost self-made meal from a corner shop whilst away alone on business. Eaten in a partial state of undress, due to an aborted attempt of getting changed after work, the meal, usually consisting of a loaf of bread and some processed cheese prepared by hand with no utensils, can be washed down with a bottle screw-cap wine whilst watching television followed by a savoury dessert, usually a whole tube of Pringles. After waking depressed in the morning, surrounded by food wrappers, food crumbs need brushing from your bed/face/body.

IT Contractor: This is so depressing, I could be out looking for a dubious lady (see pea-wet ), and this bread is stale.

TV: In news today, a missing cat reappeared after 30 days…

IT Contractor: Man, I’ve hit a low, and there are crumbs everywhere.

Next day:

Colleague: Good evening last night?

IT Contractor: Yeah, went out for a few drinks and made some new friends

IT Contactor (to self): Oh man, I was solitary bedcrumbing but can’t even admit it to myself, let alone anyone else.

Solitary bedcrumbing by yourmaninthenorth September 4, 2009