Bears are large furry carnivores of the family Ursidae. Large bears can measure up to 14 feet tall when standing on their hind legs, and 2000 pounds (1 ton). Bears are found all over the world, but generally speak with pronounced Russian accents. Bears are known to enjoy raw salmon, with copious amounts of vodka. Never, under any circumstances, try to out-drink a bear. Their superior body mass and Russian-ness will allow them to drink you under the table without even getting tipsy. Many bears also enjoy Cuban cigars.
Me: Whats up?
Bears: Здравствулте, товарищ!
Me: Lets drink vodka!
Bears: Да!
by RussianMexican July 24, 2008
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Bear is transport trucker slang for police officers. "Bear" is a term Truckers on the number one highway in Canada use on the CB to warn other truckers that there is a police officer monitering speed on the highway.
Trucker one: Hey! I just spotted a bear!

Trucker two: Where at?

Trucker one: by the 58 marker, on the right o way.

Trucker two: I'll pass it on.
by moonbug November 12, 2006
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Person 1: Man look at that bear over there.

Person 2: Yeah its totally a shark of the land!
by JmoolZZ February 07, 2013
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A large, husky man, with the body of a tank, hiding his 'bear-itude.' Usually by insisting they are not a bear, but being found out later in life. Bears are massive, husky, fur-covered, killing machines, with hearts the size of the moon. Though, never expose a bear. You will die.
iPlague, most commonly known as Teph, is a Bear. Don't expose him.
by Whargle June 17, 2010
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A nickname for dip (tobbacco) . A few differant brands have bear names such as Grizzly, and Kodiak.
Im about to throw me in some bear.
by Strangeward February 15, 2010
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1. A badass American animal that eats fish and humans if they piss them off
2. A big hairy homosexual who are really fun to wrestle with (if you're gay)
woman: "AHHHHH there's a bear near our campsite!"
homosexual: "Yayyyy!"
homosexual (naked): Here you go you big muscly bear, come and get it!
bear: (stands and growls at homosexual)
homosexual (naked): "OH SHIT ITS AN ACTUAL BEAR!!!"
by Dubiks November 12, 2018
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Facts from studying bears

1. Bears are really fucking big
2. Bears are really fucking strong
3. Bears are really fucking cute
4. Bears are really fucking hairy
5. Bears don't give a fuck, got a gun they have a fucking claw
6. Bears have really fucking sharp claws
7. Bears don't need technology they're fucking bears they don't fucking give a shit
8. Bears know how to speak human they find it just too fucking hard
9. Bears are constantly surrounding the world Pandas, Brown Bears, Polar Bears, whats next, holy shit it's BLACK BEARS!
Holy shit there's a fucking bear, better get the fuck away.
by NinjaTodd December 30, 2014
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