Beach Troll 

The denser of male “lower class” beach trolls still live in the past. Most of them are extremely paranoid due to long years of drug abuse, have short tempers and histories of road rage. Many aging beach trolls have long, graying hair, wear outdated “heavy metal” t-shirts and have a fascination with monster trucks, skull imagery and Nazi memorabilia.

All beach trolls are shysters and tight-fisted money grubbers who will screw you on any deal while making it out like you are the one coming out ahead. They will usually always greet you with a smile and a handshake. Sometimes, they will call you “brother” to throw you off track.

Most male beach trolls are shit stirrers, lechers, trouble-makers and male versions of “skanks.” They would be the first person to get your under-aged daughter heavily stoned to have sex with her in your bed while you were away at work. Avoid contact with all versions of trolls at all costs.

My 50-year-old neighbor just got hauled away for statutory rape with a minor. What a beach troll he is.

Beach Troll by Ian De La Rosa June 24, 2013

Beach Troll 

Beach Trolls can be either male or female and are found in beach communities throughout the world.

They are socially predatory creatures and usually obsessed with their exterior appearances, while neglecting development of their blackening souls.

Their interior ugliness comes out as they age, so that they are easily recognizable when older, but the young and middle-aged beach trolls will sometimes fool you with their charm and temporarily youthful beauty.

Their favorite pastimes include sleeping with married people, collecting jewelry and looking in the mirror.

Wow, I just found my ex-best friend in our Jacuzzi. She was having a threesome with my teenage son and husband. She is one mean, beach troll.

Beach Troll by Ian De La Rosa June 22, 2013