Asynchronous 

go play madden

You will be doing a lot of asynchronous work this year!

Asynchronous by birdsarefake January 4, 2021

Asynchronous Learning 

When school systems are too lazy to let kids go back to school, and too lazy to even try to do virtual learning, they rely on "Asynchronous Learning" where they let the kids teach themselves.

Why is that kid dumb as fuck?
It's because he did Asynchronous learning.

Asynchronous Learning by BTAR December 14, 2020

asynchronous resign

When one party quits their job without the other's consent; ie, getting fired or quitting without prior notice. Wordplay on 'asynchronous design'.

Did you hear about Bob's asynchronous resign? His boss must have hated him!

asynchronous resign by jellington90 December 10, 2015

Asynchronous Self-Conversation 

A conversation one engages in with oneself in a way which resembles the way one converses with oneself or with a different individual, only this type of self-conversation takes place in the present but with a recording of one's words made in the past.

To participate in an asynchronous self-conversation one needs to listen to an audio recording of things one said in the past, and can either speak to the individual speaking in the recording acknowledging that one is speaking to oneself, or pretend one is speaking to someone other than oneself. Asynchronous self-conversations work surprisingly well and can be enlightening because as time progresses every individual changes. Therefore, at 12:00 P.M. (noon) no one is thinking or feeling the same things they were thinking and feeling at 11:59 A.M. ( one-minute ago ). Listening to a recording of a word one said is a type of Asynchroneous Self-Conversation.

Asynchronous Self-Conversation by but for October 21, 2017

Asynchronous System 

An office-employee writing answer letters on a typewriter in response to electronic mail or other communications.

French Company GOA in response to Database Failure:

A: To reduce the load on the database server we have an asynchronous system. What this means is that when you put your details in, the system will store it, another system will then check it and confirm the details to you. This means the whole system is much smoother.

Asynchronous System by HorzaSe October 22, 2008

Asynchronous relationship 

When you and your partner live near each other but have such conflicting schedules it requires careful planning of calls and visits similar to a long distance relationship.

My boyfriend is about to work evenings and weekends, we’re gonna be asynchronous through the end of April.

I’m a bartender and my girlfriend is a teacher. We are in an asynchronous relationship.

Asynchronous relationship by ayab0t March 11, 2025

Asynchronous Hearts 

Asynchronous hearts describes a relationship dynamic where emotional availability between partners is misaligned — one person is open, ready, and seeking connection while the other is closed off, distracted, or emotionally distant. It’s not about lack of love, but about timing that never quite matches.

Her former husband texts his ex-wife a heartfelt message, hoping to reconnect. He’s in a place of healing and openness. She reads it, feels the weight of it, but isn’t ready to respond. A week later, she sends a warm reply — but by then, he has pulled back, unsure if the door is still open. They keep missing each other emotionally, like ships passing in fog. A classic case of asynchronous hearts.

Asynchronous Hearts by Briton Phillip September 1, 2025