*The day after a flat of Dos Equis and too much Taco Bell*
07:00 - Wake up for work, the farts begin.
07:30 to 08:00 - Wishing you had an M-40 gas mask in your car.
09:37 - Sitting alone in the
office, co-workers keeping away. Tremors begin.
10:18 - Almost getting fired for
letting one rip in the boss's office.
10:58 - Unable to contain, waddling to the nearest restroom.
10:59 - Containment breached! CONTAINMENT BREACHED!!!
11:13 - Searching for
toilet paper, still wishing you had an M-40.
11:15 - Teary eyed, swollen anus hole, waddles out of restroom to find
unconscious co-workers.
11:31 - HazMat Team arrives on scene. Curious, uneasy.
12:02 - Recovery team moves all afflicted to the safe zone.
12:27 - Containment of ground zero.
12:42 - Decontamination process commencing.
13:13 - Co-workers begin to stir, symptoms of confusion, burnt out olfactory nerves.
23:12 - Decontamination process complete, 65% loss of paint on the walls. All survivors to be further monitored for PTS.
23:59 - Apocalypshit contained... for now.
