apocalypshit

A shit so rank and so stank, it damn near ends worlds.

*The day after a flat of Dos Equis and too much Taco Bell*
07:00 - Wake up for work, the farts begin.
07:30 to 08:00 - Wishing you had an M-40 gas mask in your car.
09:37 - Sitting alone in the office, co-workers keeping away. Tremors begin.
10:18 - Almost getting fired for letting one rip in the boss's office.
10:58 - Unable to contain, waddling to the nearest restroom.
10:59 - Containment breached! CONTAINMENT BREACHED!!!
11:13 - Searching for toilet paper, still wishing you had an M-40.
11:15 - Teary eyed, swollen anus hole, waddles out of restroom to find unconscious co-workers.
11:31 - HazMat Team arrives on scene. Curious, uneasy.
12:02 - Recovery team moves all afflicted to the safe zone.
12:27 - Containment of ground zero.
12:42 - Decontamination process commencing.
13:13 - Co-workers begin to stir, symptoms of confusion, burnt out olfactory nerves.
23:12 - Decontamination process complete, 65% loss of paint on the walls. All survivors to be further monitored for PTS.
23:59 - Apocalypshit contained... for now.

apocalypshit by BombBrewer November 8, 2013

Apocalypsicle 

What you should definitely include in your zombie apocalypse kit frozen compartment.

Mom: "Hey kids! What flavors of Apocalypsicles should I buy for our zombie kit?"

Apocalypsicle by brainyuck September 11, 2011

Apocalypsing 

Treating every relationship like it’s your last and getting super serious with someone you just started dating.

Person 1: who tf is that new chick w alex?
Person 2: idk he's been apocalypsing like crazy

Apocalypsing by Plenty of Fish November 10, 2020

Apocalypolitics 

The political strategy by which politicans control the populace with the threat of an impending threat.

That speech was nothing but apocalypolitics.

Apocalypolitics by the DBG February 1, 2006

Apocalyshits 

A combination of the two terms apocalypse and bullshit.

Apocalyshits refer to all of the so-called "end of the worlds" that were supposed to have happened, but simply turned out to be bullshit.

Hence, apocalyshits.

2800 b.c., 634 b.c., 389 b.c., the 1st century, c.a. 70, the 2nd century, 247, 365, 380, the late 4th century, 500, April 6th, 793, 800, 992, 1000, 1184, 1260, 1306, 1370, February 14, 1420, 1496, c.a. 1504, 1525, April 5, 1534, 1600, 1648, 1694, 1700, 1757, October 14, 1804, August 7, 1847, 1972, 1981, June 28, 1981, September 30, 1989, October 7, 1994, November 17, 1997, 2000, January 16, 2000, February 12, 2006, April 6, 2008, AND May 21, 2011 are only a few of the many, MANY APOCALYSHITS.

I will be laughing my ass off on December 22, 2012. ;D

Apocalyshits by JSTK October 14, 2011

Apocalyshit 

The worst shit you can imagine.

Bill: I blew up on the toilet, it was an apocalyshit.

Apocalyshit by Monkey Sling Poo October 15, 2011

Apocalypsing 

When you treat the relationship between your girlfriend wayyy to seriously, and your friends genuinely think you have a death pact if she ever leaves you.

Nick: 'Who's that chick Charlie's with?'
Ash: 'She's the girl he's been apocalypsing about since he met her the other week'
Nick: 'Fucking simp.'

Apocalypsing by Your Local Perth Guide November 19, 2020