Something that one might mistake for irony, but is actually not. Typically, a predictable worst-case scenario come to fruition. Named after Alanis Morrissette, who's song "Ironic" uses examples of "irony" that are not ironic -- e.g. rain on your wedding day.
Wow 10,000 spoons and all you need is a knife? That's ironic! No it's not -- it's alanic.
by Mojotronica July 15, 2004
The act of masturbating and trying to ejaculate into your own face.
Steve was masturbating to a video and right when he was about to cum he did "The Alan" and aimed his cock into his own face and shot his load.
by Alan S. September 19, 2007
the most sexiest soccer player , he will be your favorite ex , and he will have the biggest dick
brooo i miss alan eating me out
by alaiababyy June 28, 2022
a fat fuck who sits and catfishes and grooms kids off of roblox on his nokia brick
bro this guy just told me he was gonna put me on a leash on da hood.

must be alan lol
by weheartcatfishes December 12, 2021
To look at other's work aimlessly with a blank stare, with occasional input that could be rude but beneficial.
Jack was alaning over Jill's shoulder while she wrote her program.
by leovander March 3, 2011
the culmination of god, he is secretly omniscient but he pretends that he isn't. he loves boba tea and he likes making bad jokes. He is always at least 6 feet tall and has a six-pack
damn bro is that Alan? man he looks nice
by Chinny Boi March 1, 2022