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actuarial jokes 

proof that any association with the word actuarial implies boringness and morbidity.
Even attempted humour aimed at ridiculing actuaries fall short due to the blandness of the actuarial profession.
examples of actuarial jokes:
"An actuary is someone who wanted to be an accountant, but didn't have the personality for it."

"An actuary is someone who expects everyone to be dead on time."
actuarial jokes by howm September 14, 2006
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Actuarial Science 

Science for people who don't like science. Kind of like Computer Science, only more stupid stuff that no one uses.
Actuarial Science by C. Frey July 5, 2006

actureally

When you don't know if you should say actually or really. Could be because you used both words too much recently, whatever reason it is.
I actually don't really have anything to do with his act, sir. I actureally don't.
actureally by Eaglenz July 20, 2016
Cigarette: Northern slang for a cigarette, used oft by mashed up mancunian ravers becasue of the resemblance of a hot(electric)stove to the end of a lit cigarette. Originated circa 1991 in the early halcyon days of the rave culture; we speculate during a drug fuelled hallucination by said manc.
'fuck me noel, i am bolloxed, is that a ciggy in your mouth, or the stove from me 'nans kitchen'/
General use: 'Give us a stove you cunt'
stove by anthony willison March 18, 2004
Word of the Day on August 4, 2026

Walky-Talky 

A derogatory term for able bodied people or people that can walk. This definition was coined by disabled influencer Valerie Weber
Person in wheelchair: “look at that walky-talky over there.”

Friend in wheelchair: *looking at person who is walking* “yeah haha
Walky-Talky by odd muffin October 5, 2021
Word of the Day on August 3, 2026

Scrapnel 

(N) :
All pieces left over after an art project or home improvement.
"After we made the decorations for the party, there was 'scrapnel' all over the floor"
Scrapnel by IceSniper February 22, 2025
Word of the Day on August 2, 2026
A hardo is a person who tries extremely hard at everything. Most times a hardo will try very hard at things that do not require excessive effort. For example, sports practices, gym class, etc.
Wow did you see Jack at practice today? What a hardo!
Hardo by Thuhkilluh September 4, 2014
Word of the Day on August 1, 2026